“The Shetland Islands Council and Corby Borough Council – among the smallest local authorities in the UK – have more CCTV cameras than the San Francisco Police Department.”

Ha ha ha ha, money feckin’ well spent, eh? Take a look at THIS and weep! The Shetland Isles? CCTV’s on every damn sheep! Ha ha ha ha…

How’s this for an unusual book title:

A Hand in the Bush: The Fine Art of Vaginal Fisting

I’m all for self help books, but this looks a tad…well…it dosen’t beat about the bush (pardon the pun). Still, it’s nice to know “this long-awaited guide has been approved by three fisting-positive physicians”.

What about “Yoni Massage“? Quite a title for a book – is it like Indian head massage?

Interesting to note that “Prostata Massage – Der männliche G-Punkt” has nothing but 5 star reviews! All from men…but so what?


Goodness, Parliament burns…but is Gordon safe?

gord 001

Ah! The Battle of Falkirk (1298)…of course!

July 22 was the date of The Battle of Falkirk, where Scottish pikemen were cut to pieces by English longbowmen. 2009 is the year a Scotish Prime Minister obtained revenge!! He cut the English nation down to size singlehandedly!!

Gordon will be at the celebrations tomorrow, for sure!

Foriegn Policy who publish the “failed States” index have put together a photo-essay which you will find HERE and is quite shocking but well worth a look.


Is there anyone out there, anyone at all, who can explain to me what our “objective” is in Afghanistan?

Before I go off on one, Y-fronts over my head, screaming down the street:


Is there somewhere a calm voice of reason that can explain what the hell British soldiers are doing in a shithole like Afghanistan? After all, the mighty armies of the USSR got their backsides well and truly kicked over there, remember (surely you do, we helped fund the Taliban and Bin Laden in their struggle against the evil ol’ Ruskies)?

Oh, yeah, before anyone brings it up like the dog’s feckin’ dinner, I know about “the need” to protect the (possible) oil and gas pipeline! So, British and US troops are out there because Union Oil of California proposed a pipeline from Turkmenistan to Afghanistan and the Indian Ocean port of Karachi? Is that it? The plan had to be abandoned ‘cause of the Taliban’s topsy-turvy, medieval and chaotic regime, but now it might just be a goer again? With the Taliban shoved onto the back foot, so to speak?

So what do the British politicians say about the situation? On Question Time the other evening the Conservative argument was (like the Government’s) we’re in there to win. If we pull out it will destroy any relationship that may exist between Britain and the US. Also it’ll lead to more terrorist attacks on Britain…


How many troops do Switzerland have over there? How many terrorist attacks have taken place on Swiss soil?

So, talk show host Trisha Goddard suggested the war might be “unwinnable”.

You reckon?

Now, never mind the morality (or total lack of same) of what we’ve done, the great British media, bless ‘em, make a big deal about Helicopters!

What? Are you feckin’ mad? Helicopters?

So the usual circus kicks off: the Prime Mentalist with all the sincerity of a stoat on methadone, says nonsense! Helicopters ( he means Chinooks, by the way…for the uninitiated, the argument is about transportation helicopters) have been increased by 60%!!!! WOW!! 60% is a lot of helicopters, isn’t it? So we now have ten (yes, TEN) of these ‘copters operating in Afganistan!

The media response is a comparison between Britain and the US of helicopters per head of soldiers in the war theatre – it’d actually be more to the point comparing the number of helicopters we have, to the number the Dutch have deployed! The US has always spent big time on their military, providing a veritable cornucopia of material for their use – especially in these imperialistic small wars (a left over from the nineteenth century that seems to have leaked into the twenty-first?).

Now, since the beginnings of time, the Generals of every nation in times of war never have enough! Not enough men, tanks, munitions, helicopters. Whatever. Offer the military two battalions of partially armed Salvation Army carol singers and they’d take ‘em. Hannibal sitting outside Rome with his army (the war more or less won), sent back to Carthage for more Elephants etc…and lost the war while he waited for them!

If Britain had ten times more helicopters, odds are the Taliban would be shooting ‘em down. This is from the Telegraph in April 2008:

“British troops in Afghanistan are being targeted by surface-to-air missiles supplied by Iran, a senior Army source said yesterday.

“Officers in the Iranian Revolutionary Guard are supplying hundreds of weapons, including the missiles, to Taliban insurgents, it is believed.

“Most worrying is the news that SA7 Strella anti-aircraft missiles have been supplied to the Taliban. The weapons are a serious threat to helicopters supplying more than 6,000 troops.

“It is not thought the Taliban are well trained in how to use the weapons most effectively. In southern Helmand yesterday they fired an anti-aircraft weapon at an American F18 fighter without hitting it.

“Other weapons being smuggled in include plastic explosives, anti-tank mines, AK47s, mortars, rocket-propelled grenades and machine guns.”

In March of 2009, US Intelligence released this information to the world’s press:

“IRAN is supplying the Taliban in Afghanistan with surface-to-air missiles capable of destroying a helicopter, according to American intelligence sources.

They believe the Taliban wants to use the SA-14 Gremlins missiles to launch a “spectacular” attack against coalition forces in Helmand, where insurgents claim to be gaining the upper hand.

“Although British and American helicopters operating in southern Afghanistan are equipped with defensive systems to deflect an attempted strike, the SA-14 can evade such counter-measures …

“Special forces have previously intercepted arms shipments from Iran that would have helped the Taliban intensify a roadside bombing campaign that has killed 40 British troops over the past 18 months, including three last week.

“However, coalition forces only became aware of the presence of SA14s two weeks ago when parts from two of them were discovered during an American operation in western Afghanistan.”

The British media argues for more transport helicopters to overcome the problem of ground based transportation convoys being “hit” by roadside bombs. Ultimately, it’ll make no difference to our casualty rate.

More to the point is the question: “Where is the Afghan national army?” (apparently there is significant drug abuse and incompetency in the Afghan National Army)

The problem is Afghanistan is a geographical construct – there is no national identity, because the countless indigenous tribes have loyalty to their chiefs and to the tribe. So, the “country” as such is almost “non-existent” (except on the maps of our military).

In highlighting and arguing about these things, the world and his wife are transformed into armchair generals. In doing so they miss the real point. Why did Britain invade Afghanistan in the first place? What right did we have to do that? Was it not a breach of International law? In which case why are we still there?

And if in its actions Britain isn’t guilty of “crimes against humanity”, then what actually is it we think we’re going to achieve…and how?

It strikes me at the moment that both Britain and the US are desperately looking for an “exit strategy”. So, if they can hammer the Taliban and just shut ‘em up for a couple of months or so…well, then they can hold some elections, hand over security to the Afghan Government and sod off sharpish…because everybody knows it’s not a war they can possibly win!

Ahhh, sure, the once mighty Euphrates River in Iraq, the bringer of civilization, is fast running dry, its waters used up by Turkey and Syria, Iraq’s neighbors.

“The shrinking of the Euphrates, a river so crucial to the birth of civilization that the Book of Revelation prophesied its drying up as a sign of the end times, has decimated farms along its banks, has left fishermen impoverished and has depleted riverside towns as farmers flee to the cities looking for work.”

Ahhh, sure, isn’t it true? The Book of Revelation tells us:

“The sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up to prepare the way for the kings from the East.”

See HERE for an article and the photographs.

Never mind, we still have their oil, don’t we?

Where Else Can You Go

July 18, 2009

to get those wonderful T-shirts
with the pocket for your smokes
the pocket for your smokes?

In all colors all sizes
blue and dark blue and light blue
and black and brown green and red
light brown dark red all colors.

Where else can you go
for the blue light the blue light
the blue light specials?

You know what I’m talking about
that place that savings place
you’ve been there
wandering the aisles dazed.
You have to be in the right mood
to go in. you have to be slow
and happy and sad.

I am buying T-shirts and basketball shoes
I am buying a Hula Hoop and a can of oil
I am buying a travel alarm and an eraser
in the shape of Mr. T’s head–
oh, Mr. T where are you now?

Good cheap stuff, don’t you love it
cheeseballs and vitamins
a bag of cement a light-up fish

a lightbulb with three speeds
a lightbulb that lasts forever.
It’s cotton candy on my tongue–
it disappears yet is so sweet
yet is so sickening.

Why did I come here, what did I really need?
I am lonely and it is raining.
I am tired of flossing.
I want to wander these cluttered aisles
till what brought me here
slides off into shoe boxes and dish drainers
into stale bags of caramel corn

and circus peanuts, into disposable lighters
and sugar-free gum. I want to be emptied
emptied of it all, I want to pass through
the checkout counter past the security guard
having mumbled all my sins to the plastic dolls.
I want to be purified by the smells of ammonia
and Colorforms, the taste of junk America
the sweet sweet blues–I hope I can afford it.

Jim Daniels

Thought for the day

July 18, 2009

Fascism should more appropriately be called Corporatism because it is a merger of state and corporate power.

Benito Mussolini

After a heap of news stories claiming this little robot powered itself off of human corpses, the designers claim it’s vegaterian! See the full story HERE.

Thought for the day

July 14, 2009

Words dazzle and deceive because they are mimed by the face. But black words on a white page are the soul laid bare.

Guy de Maupassant