Minister for Exams

June 12, 2016

Students sitting exams

When I was a child I sat an exam.
This test was so simple
There was no way i could fail.

Q1. Describe the taste of the Moon.

It tastes like Creation I wrote,
it has the flavour of starlight.

Q2. What colour is Love?

Love is the colour of the water a man
lost in the desert finds, I wrote.

Q3. Why do snowflakes melt?

I wrote, they melt because they fall
on to the warm tongue of God.

There were other questions.
They were as simple.

I described the grief of Adam
when he was expelled from Eden.
I wrote down the exact weight of
an elephant’s dream

Yet today, many years later,
For my living I sweep the streets
or clean out the toilets of the fat

Why? Because constantly I failed
my exams.
Why? Well, let me set a test.

Q1. How large is a child’s
Q2. How shallow is the soul of the
Minister for exams?

Brian Patten

Leda and swan -The white rush - sam taylor-wood

I think my vagina is depressed.
It hangs dolefully between my thighs
Like a forgotten airplane hangar, the last flight
Long since departed, and which disappeared somewhere
Off the coast of Bermuda. O condors where are you?
My clitoris is claustrophobic.
It needs air, space… freedom!
And, as for my labia?
It has not felt its elasticity tighten
Since the birth of Magellan! I pray for its deliverance,
Each day – though being entirely faithless. Would that I
Could somehow enter some church and ruffle the down
Of some God, whose wing-like hands
Would feather thrust the fire in me, subjugate now.

Peter O’Neill


Adriana loved even the rank animal smell of the man’s body, her sweat-slicked breasts and belly flattened beneath him, and her arms and legs clutching him as a drowning woman might clutch another person to save her life. Don’t don’t don’t don’t leave me. DON’T LEAVE ME. As in animal copulation the frenzy is to be locked together not out of sentiment or choice but physical compulsion. As if bolts of electric current ran through both their bodies and would only release them from each other when it ceased.

Joyce Carol Oates

everyman should know his place

Very true…

June 12, 2016


Anal reluctance

June 12, 2016

Your cock_hellomary_Prom Night II

My boyfriend is a self-proclaimed anal enthusiast, but I’ve never done it before. I guess it always seemed, quite literally, beside the point. My girlfriends rave about it though, and say that I’m missing out.

I’ve attempted to have a finger in there, but just hated it! It felt so intrusive and I couldn’t relax even with Xanax. I’m pretty convinced that I wouldn’t find it pleasurable, but I was equally convinced that I would never be able to squirt, but have (finally) been proven wrong after 27 years by my ridiculously attentive boyfriend who was committed to the cause. Wow, what a fucking revelation.

Back to this anal bizzo, I also worry about the psychological reasons he likes anal so much. Is it the taboo of it being my asshole in the sense that it ‘s primary function isn’t actually sexual? Is it because it’s the ultimate domination? Or is it simply physiological in that it’s super tight…?

True Sex Confessions


It happened. No lies, we did it. My best friend was great. She had no idea I was bi!

I thought about her a lot. I even masturbated thinking of her. My favourite fantasy was doing it at school.

And it was after school it happened. She had on these white jeans that day. It had rained the day before, so it was muddy. We tripped in the mud, giggling, and threw it at each other like the idiots we were.

She had mud over her white jeans. We went to the bathroom so she could take them off and wipe them down. I called her a dirty girl, and being the inappropriate kids we were we both laughed.

But it got me wet saying that and thinking of her in there. While she was changing in a cubicle I peeked under the stall. I saw legs and a hairy V-area, no panties.

Heart beating fast I scrambled away. But she knew I’d peeked. She told me to “Get in here” in a stern voice. She opened the door and roughly pulled me in by my breast. I moaned, liking her roughness.

She closed the stall door clicking the flimsy lock in place. She tugged my shirt off while saying she owned me. I only moaned her name over and over. She stuck a hand in my pants and said “This vagina is MINE. I told I was a virgin and oral only. She put her foot down, and slapped me hard. She told me I was hers and she was in control. She fingered me till there was blood on my thighs while saying she owned me. I loved it. I loved having her in control, being her submissive little slave…

Confession Post

climbing the walls

I Just this week discovered that my husband of 14 years has spent the last 3 years cheating on me with his sloppy fat secretary who has bleached blonde hair, multiple tattoos and weighs north of 250 pounds. (And I assume that he fathered her youngest child.) I just don’t get it. And I don’t understand how men think.

Confession Post