fantasy come true

April 1, 2017

Is it a fantasy come true?

For most people femdom, or a female led relationship, stays a secret fantasy. Those inexperienced people often construct myths around femdom and FLR. But do you know what femdom is in real life? It is, in short: When you feel sexually aroused while I use you to make myself happy. Sounds like the porn you watch? Probably because you can’t put yourself in the position of the real me.

What I want to be happy may be a clean kitchen, it may be a stack of shirts ironed, it may be my neighbours called out because they keep me awake all night with endless partying. It may be you stripping for me on my command and then me stomping on and slapping parts of your body, it may be me, teasing your most erogenous zones, talking to you in my cute voice or it may be both of us cuddling on the sofa and watching movies in our pyjamas.

Femdom is about certain emotional needs being satisfied. It is not so much about the fetishes. They can be just a part of it.

FLR is one way of conducting your relationship and to find peace, happiness and real intimacy in it.

I can’t stand people telling me how my dominance should look like to be real dominance (mostly men, but sometimes women too).

I am the evil black spirit one minute and the loving mother the next, I protect and I hurt. Amicably. If we agreed in our relationship that you are my sub and I am your boss, there is no way that you dictate to me what is dominance and what isn’t. But of course you are to communicate to me what works for you and what doesn’t. This is a relationship as any other in one way: You are together with me because you want me. I am with you because I want you. If you decide, that I am not what you want, you can leave. Always. But you don’t come to me, beg me to be your Domme and then tell me what of my behaviour is dominance and what isn’t. What I’m allowed to and what I’m not allowed to do to still call myself a Domme. If I am your Domme, I’m always your Domme. No matter in what voice I’m talking, no matter how nicely I phrase any command, no matter to what use I see fit to utilize you.

Naturally, it follows, that not every man who calls himself a sub is the ideal match for every woman who calls herself a Domme. We are all humans. A relationship is always dependent on personal sympathies, and human personalities are defined by more than just “Domme” or “sub”. You wouldn’t suggest, that everyone who likes vanilla sex and conservative marriage, is a good match for every other person with the same preference, would you?

Femdom is far more than evil stares and harsh words from Ice Queens. Women can be dominant in so many ways! And if you want to, and she consents, you can have the Ice Queen occasionally from your loved one, or always, if you pay Her for it.

Living in a femdom relationship with a lifestyle Domme is fun and fulfilling, it’s contributing to the happiness of all partners involved. That’s the sign of every healthy relationship, by the way. And, you know, most women aren’t happy in a relationship where they never can get hugs when they’re tired or be silly and cute just because they always have to role-play the Evil Queen. You are two adults, supporting each other in your needs and dreams. Not two combatants, constantly fighting each other or one, always expected to fight, to subdue the other and to keep him in the relationship out of fear.

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