The light you shine

May 5, 2017

Undone

May 5, 2017

She cast her eyes
heavenward
up at the hand
that took her.

Flames licking eagerly
at her wetness
bent and firm
coming undone.

Unable to hold back
that the gift
might be righteous
but not everything.

A replacement for love
and then all of a sudden
the world was fine
and she was set free.

Dancing desperately
through the blaze
that shone as bright
as she did with his gift.

Then, she bowed and played…

Caitlin

Cri de Coeur

May 5, 2017

What if you said yes
to everything. What would happen
to me then. I am telling you
the rage would start and never
come to end. How dare you
care for me when all my life
I have had this voltage to ignite
me, this rhythm to drive me,
when something inside your body
dares me to touch my hands
to yours. And if you said go
ahead, touch. What would happen
to my life then, when all along
there has been nothing but me.

Emily Fragos

Items required:

Altar Candle
Day candle (It’s colour selected for the day your spell is to take place: Monday-white: Tuesday-red: Wednesday-purple: Thursday-blue: Friday-green: Saturday-black: Sunday-yellow)
Offertory Candles: 3 Violet candles 3 White candles
Tools: Athame to inscribe candles
Props: Crystal ball or clear glass of water
Incense: anise, cardamom, and coriander
Oil: jasmine, lemon, rose, and sandalwood
Bathing Herbs: cinnamon, frankincense, myrrh, and sandalwood
Timing: Best done during the Mercury hour of the day, although any hour should work. Any moon phase is appropriate.

Preparation
Breathe deeply and build a ball of protective light around you. While soaking in your ritual bath, meditate on the whole ritual: the steps you will take and what you wish to say to your spirit guide when you make contact.

Ritual
Enter the circle in the Hour of Mercury. Light the incense. With the oil, dress the Altar Candle and the Day Candle while concentrating on the purpose of the ritual. Light your Altar candle and your Day candle and state your intent:

“I am here to make contact with my Spirit Guide, and to acknowledge him or her”

With your Athame, inscribe Violet Candle 1 with the word “Spirit”. Dress it with oil.
Light the Violet candle 1, direct your energies into it, and say:

“Here do I light the first Lamp of Spirit. May its light reach out across the barriers from this world to the next? May it make contact with that World of Spirit into which we will eventually enter”

Take your censer or incense wand and swing in around censing the whole area around the altar, while rhythmically repeating the word “Merge” and building up energy to focus.
Replace the censer and pick up Violet candle 2. Inscribe it with the word “Spirit” and dress it with the oil. Put it back on the altar, light it, direct your energy into it, and say:

“Here do I light the second Lamp of Spirit. May its light also reach out across the barriers from this world to the next. May it make contact with that World of Spirit and help spread the light, illuminating the passageway between our worlds.”

Again, take the censer or incense wand and censer the entire area around the altar while chanting the word “Merge” Build up your energy to focus. Take violet candle #3, inscribe with the word “Spirit”, dress with oil, charge with your energy, light it and say:

“Here do I light the third Lamp of Spirit. May its light also reach out across the barriers from this world to the next. May the light from these three lamps blend and grow, dispelling all darkness and lighting the way that my Spirit Guide may come to me and speak with me here today.”

Inscribe the 3 white candles with the word “Truth” and anoint each candle with oil. Light the 3 white candles in order of 1, 2, 3, and say:

“Here do I build Truth. As these candles burn throughout this ritual, their power generates nothing but truth in all that transpires between this world and the next. Through these candles there is truth in all communications that come to me”.

Again, censer the entire altar area while chanting the word “Merge”. Replace the censer and continue chanting. Sit comfortably while chanting, and gaze into the crystal ball, or the clear glass of water. Continue chanting until you feel it is right to let the chant taper off. Continue to quietly look into the crystal ball or glass, not trying to picture anything. Keep your mind blank, so whatever comes will appear will come in its own free will. Gaze into the center of the crystal, there is no need to try not to blink. Look into the crystal and blink naturally. Try not to notice anything in your peripheral vision, just the center of the crystal.

Eventually a face or figure will appear. This may take a long time, or it may appear almost immediately. If it doesn’t come at all within approximately 20 minutes, abandon this attempt, extinguish the candles in the order in which they were lit, leave the altar set up, and try this ritual again in three days. You should have results within a month at most.

When a figure does appear, ask if he/she is your Spirit Guide. You will hear an answer. You may not hear it out loud or even see the figure’s lips move, but you will be aware of the answer. This is how most of your conversation will proceed. You will ask your questions mentally (or out loud) and the answers will be clear inside your mind.

Ask if you have more than one spirit guide. If yes, ask them to appear also. You may ask anything you wish to know, but it is suggested you establish a connection first where your Spirit Guide may appear to you at any time, or at specific times, so that you can converse with other spirits through him/her.

When you have finished speaking with your Guide, thank him/her and then sit for a moment with your eyes closed, meditating on all that you have learned. Extinguish the candles in reverse order to clear the circle.

Source: Spells for all

Personal Darkness

May 5, 2017

5th May

Imbibing alcohol can make fools of us all, but it can also make us more candid than we’d otherwise have been…

Dee, slightly intoxicated last night, explaining that as a young girl she offered a kiss to a boy, a neighbour, if he’d take down trousers and underwear then sit in a patch of nettles. Surprisingly, the boy complied. Dee told him he must ‘wriggle’ on the nettles. Again he complied. But shortly afterwards, he began to cry. She encouraged him to stand and kissed him several times on the mouth in an attempt to stop his tears. She was eight years old; the boy nine.

At home later that same day the boy’s mother created holly hell with Dee’s parents. His bottom and testicles were covered in little white blisters from the nettles; he could not sit still, and had been liberally bathed in calamine lotion. Dee’s mother, furious, sent Dee up to bed without supper. Both her mother and father said they were disgusted by her behaviour.

Dee remembers mainly the boy’s penis being very stiff when he sat in the nettles and when she kissed him.

In confessional mood, Gabriella told of her mother’s coldness towards her as a young child. Her mother had really wanted a boy, but ended up with a girl. There was no intimacy between the pair, no closeness and cuddles.

And when Gabby’s brother was born, he became the apple of mum’s eye: nothing was too much for him. Gabriella felt more isolated than ever. Hers was a childhood of loneliness and confusion. She needed love, but was haunted by a sense of inadequacy. Alone in the vast world of childhood, she made the place inhabitable by complete and total submission to the will of her mother, who she saw as the dominant force in her life. A force that must be appeased at any cost. Then, and only then, love would follow.

At age fourteen, one sunfilled summer afternoon, Gabriella and a school friend, a slightly older girl, played a game of ‘strip poker’ in Gabby’s bedroom. They were alone in the house: Gabby’s mother was at a carboot sale in a neighbouring town; her father was at work, and her brother at a friend’s house. Inevitably both girls became naked, but they continued to play – only for ‘dares’ now. There were intimate touches, caresses. An element of mutual masturbation. Finally Gabriella was ‘dared’ to go down on the other girl – and she did, without a moment’s hesitation…

It was at that moment her mother walked into the bedroom! She’d returned early with a splitting headache.

There followed a highly charged and emotional scene. Gabby’s mother called her ‘Ugly and unnatural’. She ordered the other girl to dress and get out of the house. Her final comment, ‘You’re both a pair of dirty lesbians…’ broke Gabriella’s heart.

Dee grew up with a conviction that in human relationships, there were only two possible positions: one of rapacious domination; the other of docile submission. Dee would never play the role of submissive. She could not, would not struggle against the duality in her nature. Gabriella on the other hand, always sought love, intimacy, acceptance: to obtain these, she submitted to others thoughtlessly, flitted from one sex to the other, always humble and eager to please, but sexually avid.

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It’s always best kissing the middle of a sentence, long languorous kisses to melt the words…

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Ghosts?

I once encountered a ghost. A terrible apparition, it was, too. The following morning I woke believing the encounter to have been a nightmare, a simple bad dream in which I stood powerless and screaming at the spectre of one recently dead.

It was some days later Ailsa told me she had hurried to me after hearing my cries in the night. That part at least had been no dream. She saw no ‘ghost’ but I was standing in the centre of a locked room in an almost hysterical state.

How had the room become unlocked?

Neither of us could say; it was a mystery.

So, was it dream, hallucination or horrifying reality? I’m still not certain.