The Mist

August 5, 2018

I should keep up with the news
but my wifi is out of control
so I am cutting it up
slicing it into quarters of my life.
Less and less of you
more and more of me.
I disrupt my life on purpose
and see through the mist.
Who can ever give you
all you want? Not one
person. I never met
that person so I find it
within myself and
marry myself. I’m
cheating on my husband
with myself. He knows it
too. I can touch myself
and cum in seconds. No
rendez-vous, no dates.
I can believe in myself
and not others’ version
of me. Even if I have twenty-four
hours to live
I can stare at a ceiling in silence
I have plenty of practice.
I will take my secrets to
the grave. No one
can love me the way
I want. So I will continue
talking to myself, write
poems to myself, letters
to myself, read, go to
bookstores, museums,
walk my dog, create a
new self, bury the old one.
I have so many selves
I gave up on, so many
I believed in. Luckily,
I love my own company
and loneliness and being alone
are not to be confused.
I know that writing
is my best company.
And I look forward to
the mist
and human touch
always
look forward to moments
and hours to be relived
in my mind.
I look forward to being
me in all my selves.

Christina Strigas

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