The Toll of the Sea

April 7, 2020

The first Technicolor feature in Hollywood, a retelling of Madame Butterfly, starring Anna May Wong

green means go, so run - now  –
green the colour of the siren sea, whose favours are a mortgage upon the soul
red means stop, before the cliffs jag downward
red the colour of the shore that welcomes
white the colour of the man washed ashore, from his shirt to his pants to his brittle shoes
white the colour of the screen before Technicolor
white the colour of the master narrative
green the colour of the ocean, so kind, not leaving a stain on the white shirt
green the colour of the girl, so kind — but why?
She speaks: Alone in my garden I heard the cry of wind and wave
In the green girl’s garden, the stranger clamps her, asks:
How would you like to go to America? A lie, soaked in the
red of the chokecherries that turn brown in the heat
red the colour of the roses that spy
red the colour of their fake marriage
white the colour of the white man’s frown
She asks: Is it great lark or great sparrow you call those good times in America?
green the colour of his departure
white the colour of the counterfeit letters she sends to herself
white the colour of their son
white the colour of erasure
red the colour of the lost footage
red the sea that swallows our stories
red the colour of the girl who believed the roses
red the colour of the ocean that drowns the girl
red the colour of the final restoration
In every story, there is a Technicolor screen: black / white / red / green
In every story, there is a chance to restore the colour
If we recover the flotsam, can we rewrite the script?
Alone in a stranger’s garden, I run — I forge a desert with my own arms
blue the colour of our recovered narrative
blue the colour of the siren sea, which refuses to keep a white shirt spotless
blue the colour of our reclaimed Pacific
blue the ocean that drowns the liars
blue the shore where the girl keeps living
There she rises, on the opposite shore
There she awakens  – prismatic, childless, free -
Shorn of the story that keeps her kneeling
blue is the opposite of sacrifice

Sally Wen Mao

eating each other

April 7, 2020

how we say we’ll take it slowly and can’t. how our knees tremble and lock. how we’re all mouths and fingers and desperation. eating each other like licking syrup from teaspoons. the heaviness of the silence. the weight of your eyes on me, how your hands shake when you push away the hair on my nape and kiss me there. the vulnerability of it. a cupful of skin, a mouthful of it, right there, yes, that’s where I want it…

Azra Tabassum
Love the Pilgrim Soul

wildest sex fantasy

April 7, 2020


In terms of my wildest sex fantasy, I guess I get off on the idea of being very unlike myself. I’m a feminist and very independent, but for some reason, the idea of having several men fuck me at the same time and sharing me drives me wild. It’s not quite a MMF threesome fantasy, more like a few dudes focusing on dominating me. Somewhere semi-exposed (like an apartment with a wall of windows) would be the ideal setting. They wouldn’t interact with each other, but they also wouldn’t care about my pleasure.”
—Jenna, 23

Carina Hsieh
Women on Their Hottest Sexual Fantasy

Black Holes

April 7, 2020

Black holes are the seductive dragons of the universe, outwardly quiescent yet violent at the heart, uncanny, hostile, primeval, emitting a negative radiance that draws all toward them, gobbling up all who come too close. Once having entered the tumultuous orbit of a black hole, nothing can break away from its passionate but fatal embrace. Though cons of teasing play may be granted the doomed, ultimately play turns to prey and all are sucked haplessly―brilliantly aglow, true, but oh so briefly so―into the fire-breathing maw of oblivion. Black holes, which have no memory, are said to contain the earliest memories of the universe, and the most recent, too, while at the same time obliterating all memory by obliterating all its embodiments. Such paradoxes characterize these strange galactic monsters, for whom creation is destruction, death life, chaos order. And darkness illumination: for, as dragons are also called worms, so black hole are known as wormholes, offering a mystical and intimate pathway to the farthest reaches of the cosmos, thus bring light as they consume it.

Robert Coover
A Child Again

I desire nothing else any longer. I go to the seashore, enjoy the waves, undress, sense the entire sea as my bloodstream’s circulation, inhale the air, realize that I am the clear expression of the whole of this inarticulate cry of the elements…

Nikos Kazantzakis
letter to Eleni Samiou July 1924

intoxicating darkness

April 7, 2020

our breathless bodies entwine,
intoxicating darkness
enclosing us –
salt taste to your silky skin
like a firefly
quivering in my hairless arms

dystopian novel

April 7, 2020

Today you would be forgiven for thinking you are trapped in some dystopian novel…

simple memories

April 7, 2020

These abandoned gardens, drunk with silence, simple memories that open and close like a door blowing in the wind…