total submission

April 29, 2018

Respect is everything. We must respect limits, safe words, all boundaries, but above all we must respect the individuality of the submissive. Respect is earned. Fear is not respect. Nor is power over another human being. Instilling fear in a submissive will never achieve a state of total submission. Ultimately, fear will cause fragmentation of the relationship. It will lead to abuse. That must never happen.

Positive Domination is a state in which calm prevails: trust is engendered with listening and learning. Feedback between dominant and submissive both, a kind of emotional spiral where more is delivered, the more it is received and it becomes in turn a two-way street.

Then both parties win.

whips

Taking the popular term current in BDSM circles today, I shall immerse myself in the subject of “subspace”, that is, the altered state of consciousness that a submissive reaches upon the culmination of pleasure; that trance state in which tolerance to pain can be so great that its limits cannot be found.

It is where we as Dominants must have the ability to control this state. We could say that the submissive “flies” and abstracts from everything which surrounds him / her, losing the notion of reality, diving into an abyss of authentic pleasure where everything that is not that sensation is alien to him or her. Even the function of speech is impaired, so that the safe word loses its meaning because he / she will never pronounce it.

It is a moment of utmost transcendence, and the Dominant person must demonstrate good sense, control and authentic care – because not only is the Dom’s own Will present, but in their hands quite literally (and in a very strict sense), rests the will of the other person and their emotional and physical safety.

We have to know how to manage this whole situation and to consider with temperance the “return” of the submissive. Each Dom has their own method, but it must be the safest and most consistent method for the submissive person, giving “small” hits of reality until he / she becomes aware of where they are and what is happening. And, above all, the Dom must bear in mind that this “return” can cause “side effects” and must be prepared for the “subdrop” in which the submissive begins to question everything.

The Dom should spare no effort making them see very clearly when each session begins and when it ends, to define the moments of the “subspace” and to explain to them conscientiously what all this experience consists of – because this is like a hard drug that those who try it and enjoy it will inevitably want to continue consuming, whatever their particular kink may be. And, above all, let them know that the Dom is there to ensure that the best care is always present at every level of their relationship.

Therefore, after the session, it is recommended that a quiet conversation be conducted where the submissive can express their feelings, be heard, and so both Dom and Sub continue learning, and understanding, so that the Sub knows that he / she will never be alone and that they will be cared for and sheltered in that most vulnerable moment – that almost impossible moment of intense pleasure and ecstasy.

Madame D
The Black Queen

what happens inside

April 21, 2018

flashing

Just as wearing a habit doesn’t make one a nun, a form of dress (leather, corsets, spiky high heels etc) doesn’t make one a mistress. It is what happens inside you – inside your mind, its inner workings – that will make the submissive fall to his or her knees and worship you as their Goddess.

And you, as the mistress, of course, will take great pleasure from seeing another submit and prostrate themselves before you in this way.

to be submissive

April 15, 2018

restraint

Showing yourself to be submissive is not a sign of weakness…it , in fact, shows great courage, confirming who you are, your true inner identity…That’s why you, as submissive, and always with the premise of taking care of yourself, must not hide away your emotions or your inner motivation. Above all you demonstrate you know your place which implies, in my opinion, that you will never let others coerce you, blackmail you or impose anything on you – unless you want it. To please others should not mean to stop pleasing yourself.

Confessions of S
Anon

‘Normally, as you are aware, consent is everything,’ she said. ‘But not here, not today. Today we will create un moment magique, one that you will never forget. No safe words, no role play. Just the reality of pure sadism. You may beg, cry, curse – it will make no difference. I will be implacable, unhearing, your Nemesis, a simple tool of earlier, unspeakable Gods, overflowing with their cruelty.’

Chicks dig whips
Lady Julia

into kinky sex

April 8, 2018

cruel cat

Those into kinky sex know there’s something primal and exotic about it; desire elevated to expressions generally beyond the norm. It should be no surprise then that researchers have found that various BDSM roles facilitate altered states of mind. Aside from meditation and good pot brownies, what other greatness lies in the realm of altered states? Sex, that’s what.

One highlight is that such altered states of consciousness have potential to unlock an inner creativity. So, um, if you feel creatively stifled, may I suggest a dose of BDSM? If you’ve ever read anything on creativity research, you’ll be familiar with the book “Flow” by Csikszentmihalyi. What a name. Anyway, the idea is simply that,

“Flow is a nine-dimensional altered state conceptualized by Csikszentmihalyi, and is achieved during ‘optimal experiences’…The dimensions of flow include ‘challenge-skill balance, action-awareness merging, clear goals, unambiguous feedback, concentration on task, sense of control, loss of self-consciousness, time transformation,’ and feelings of intrinsic reward.”

Opposite that is Dietrich’s transient hypofrontality which “relates to daydreaming, runner’s high, meditation and even some drug highs”. As the article continues,

“The experiments revealed that the bottom role and the top role in BDSM are each associated with a distinct altered state of consciousness, both of which have previously been tied to creativity.

According to the researchers, ‘topping’ is linked to the state which aligned with Csikszentmihalyi’s flow, while ‘bottoming’ is associated with both Dietrich’s transient hypofrontality and some aspects of flow.”

So, if you felt funky about getting kinky, don’t. It’s out of this world.

Tatiana Von Tauber
Altered States of Kink
Blog entry:
6th December 2016

Such wonderful things in life can start with a cup of coffee –

BDSM

Commanding and adept your hands guide mine alone supple lips.
Pausing
She tastes of cinnamon.
She squirms but cannot move.
She is not afraid.
Our hands grasp her neck.
Tonight she belongs to us
With every gasp she moans.
My mouth is quivering, thinking about tasting her.
I search for her thighs from my satin darkness.
They are warm, wet, and inviting like the ocean
she tastes of salt and sunshine.
My tongue glides over her vagina , slowly, tenderly as our body heat rises and
then crack goes the cat o’ nine.
She cannot breathe and I cannot see yet there has been no greater ecstasy.

R A Lee

My Kink

Your eyes are my bondage.
Your kiss leaves me breathless.
Your fingers are my toys.
I submit my body and my heart
For your abuse or adoration.
With you the red bag stays zipped.
Don’t you dare give me a blindfold
Don’t you dare gag my mouth
Don’t put leathers between us.
Only one thing does it for me.
Call it a fetish or call it love.
I just want you.

Hannah Dubrow

Wicked

What are you going to do,
When you become the wicked?
The sick.
The twisted.
When you can’t manipulate your little girls?
When I get sick of this unrewarding lifestyle,
Living for your word?
What are you going to do,
When you become the wicked?

What are you going to do,
When you lose me?
What girl would still take you?
After all,
All you do is compare her to me.

The wicked,
That’s you.
The submissive,
That’s me.

I’m all you’ve looked for,
I’m the kind of sex you need.

Jacquelyn Audrey Whiston

My Dungeon

build for me a dungeon
let its walls be grim
use me there and often
and keep me locked within

in that darkest prison
you may use me to the full
keep your chains upon me
so I may know their pull

make for me a cage there
for extra close confine
where chill of steel can touch me
and pleasure be refined

keep your whip well oiled there
that I may feel its curl
while I hang in helpless torment
and my mind is in a whirl

let my mind be lost there
where only I may go
to know your deepest caring
while held in suff’ring’s throes

for there I’ll find my heartsease
as your willing prisoner
where bonds will hold you to me
and never let you go

Francesca Anderssen

To Be Powerful

Absolved.
On my knees
Legs pressed together
You hold my wrists
Above my head
With one hand
Lips parted
Tongue working
Face buried
In your free hand

I lick your palm
I taste your salt

Is everyone nervous
Their first time?

I lap it up
You cup your hand
Shove it in my face

“Tell me you love it”
“Tell me how much
You fucking love it”

This is a game we play
On Tuesday nights when we
Are too broke to eat out at my
Favourite Thai restaurant.

If I’m a good girl
You will pat my head
Kiss my cheek

Catalina Lopez

An unfortunate truth - Love hurts

She desires to inspect my bruises, the marks of her whip across chest, belly and thighs. Already they are rainbowing like pieces of peacock tail; I feel like a fruit which has been bruised in order to ferment. She is pleased by the sight, especially the raw welts on my cock. She says, ‘Love hurts, doesn’t it,’ then smiles and walks slowly away.

Left hanging

December 31, 2017

Oh, yes, it’s true. We can endure much more than we thought we could…

degrading acts…

December 25, 2017

I have to obey her – even when we’re engaged in really scary, disgusting and degrading acts…