My love for you is unconditional. Arse size has nothing to do with it – although that said, I take great pleasure in tugging down those short shorts, so tight they turn inside out as I do so. Bending you forward slightly, I’m able to practice my analingus technique, hoping one day I’ll finally achieve perfection. Your bum deserves that much at the very least…

It was at this point, she said:

“Don’t just kiss me, darling – suck the soul from my body!”

So I did…

Reboot your man

May 26, 2019

If you carefully insert your forefinger into your man’s bum and press on his prostate for about thirty seconds, he’ll reboot and return to his original factory settings.

Christmas Anthem

December 11, 2016

corset

Christmas has come! let affection and folly,
Run through the land from the North to the South,
Hang up the mistletoe, nail up the holly,
Frolic and fun be the talk of each mouth,
For each one to flirt, and to drink, and to eat;
Aged and Young, come! now, this is the Season,
All have enjoyment — my prick “sees no reason,”
Why Christmas should pass, and he not have a treat.

Ruddy his tip, as the bright Holly merry!
Round are his balls, as the Pudding so gay;
White pearly drops, like the Mistletoe berry,
They shall distil from his touch-hole to-day.

I will sip toddy, forget worldly scheming.
Prick! I feel for you a friendship sincere;
Pledge me in a draught, and your top ruddy beaming,
Shall quaff the Sweet Cunt Juice, for Christmas is here!

Christmas is here! so my prick, what you fancy,
That you shall have for your holiday fare;
From the black curly jock of the stately Miss Nancy,
To young Kitty’s sweet cunt, that can’t boast of a hair.

Come! my tail full bosomed fairy of twenty,
Come! little golden haired maiden of eight,
Look round the room, there are partners in plenty,
But nothing like Prick for a Christmas-time Mate!

Let the snow fall — we care not for the weather,
Pile up the logs on the gay crackling Are;
Then shall Queen Cunt and King Prick meet together,
And our sighs of enjoyment in silence expire.

Come! ’tis but once a year — let there be blindness,
To what our warm feelings incline us to do;
Come, merry maidens, and show my Prick kindness,
And straight he will strive to give pleasure to you!

Touch with your hand, let your sweet taper fingers,
Electric-like thrill him from root unto tip;
Then while the warmth of that contact still lingers,
Caress the sweet darling with tongue and with lip.

Press to your bosom — then glide to your Cunny,
Into your belly he’ll pour his “good cheer;”
“Will you spend in my bum?” “Should like to, My Honey!”
We will do what we like now, For Christmas is Here!

FINIS.

Anon
The Pearl
Christmas Annual 1881

strange