love always hurts

January 19, 2020

You said, “There’s still time – time to change your mind.”


Your voice was little more than a husky whisper beside my ear. But going back wasn’t an option for me then. What was to happen was fated…inevitable. Like the sunrise or sunset.

I said, “I love you.”

And you said, “Move forward…just a little more…little more. There. I’m going to hurt you now…Hurt you a lot, because I love you. And love always hurts.”

The pain that followed my slow movement against your long body was unlike anything I’d experienced before. Hell fire would touch me less.


And, yes, ecstasy too…

You said, “You can cry out if you wish. It’s alright. No one can hear.”

And then that exquisite, excruciating torment eased, slightly. I couldn’t breathe; couldn’t draw breath; but then I could and took short, shallow gulps of air. I realised my mouth was filled with blood where I’d bitten the right side of my cheek and my tongue.

You bent forward to look into my face and smiled. You saw the blood on my lips. Your tongue flicked over my mouth, lasciviously.

“First blood,” you whispered. “Relax for now. It’s going to be a long, long night for you…”


mundane perception dissolved

December 5, 2019

Sexual gnosis is the ecstasy of dissolution, liquid pleasure in which the spirit rises above the physical body and is dissolved in the Void, transformed into a higher form through works of erotic alchemy. They absorb and consume the initiate in the rapture of cruelty and desire, on the borderline of pain and delight. Pleasure is detached from bodily zones and transformed into spiritual experience. Normal patterns of thinking are suspended and mundane perception is dissolved, left behind by the spirit ascending to divinity. The ego is crushed and the practitioner ceases to be a separate being when one’s consciousness merges with their immortal essence. They rise from within as the inner fire which consumes the flesh and awakens the spirit. This is a rewarding, but also an extremely demanding process.

Asenath Mason
Rituals of Pleasure: Sex, Astral Magic & Demonic Possession

stiffening cocks

September 15, 2019

Man or woman it doesn’t matter. His mouth welcomes those stiffening cocks and vulvas in their summer wetness. Mature mums with absent brats seeking ecstasy in this banquet of flesh; their hubbies with hearts bruised by dead loves moan softly at the first touch of sucking lips.

It is only thanks to your good looks
I can take part
in the rites of love.

Mystical ecstasies,
treasons delightful
as a crimson lipstick,
a perverse rococo
of psychological involutions,
sweetness of carnal longings
that take your breath,
pits of despair
sinking to the very bottom of the world:
all this I owe to you.

How tenderly every day I should
lash you with a whip of cold water,
if you alone allow me to possess
beauty and wisdom irreplaceable.

The souls of my lovers
open to me in a moment of love
and I have them in my dominion.
I look as does a sculptor
on his work
at their faces snapped shut with eyelids,
martyred by ecstasy,
made dense by happiness.
I read as does an angel
thoughts in their skulls
I feel in my hand
a beating human heart,
I listen to the words
which are whispered by one human to another
in the frankest moments of one’s life.

I enter their souls,
I wander
by a road of delight or of horror
to lands as inconceivable
as the bottoms of the oceans.
Later on, heavy with treasures
I come slowly
to myself.

O, many riches,
many precious truths
growing immense in a metaphysical echo,
many initiations
delicate and startling
I owe to you, my thigh.

The most exquisite refinement of my soul
would not give me any of those treasures
if not for the clear, smooth charm
of an amoral little animal.

Anna Swir
translated by Czeslaw Milosz and Leonard Nathan

The beauty and wisdom of Tantra is that it enhances sexuality as a doorway to the “ecstatic mind of great bliss”.  Truly,  at the peak of orgasm,  we pierce through the illusion of fragmentation and separation, and glimpse the unity and interconnectedness of all beings. And through the other – our partner – we fall in love with life.

Because sex holds this great potential for opening our being to the experience of ecstasy, Tantra has for millennia taught the cultivation of sexual love as an art, as a skilful spiritual practice. Then, as now, Tantra challenges the belief promoted by most spiritual and religious paths that we must suppress or transcend out sexuality to practice meditation or awaken our Spirit.

Tantra arose in rebellion against the repressive orthodoxy of the Hindu priesthood, the Brahmins – especially against the idea that one had to be celibate to gain enlightenment. Tantra acknowledges that sex is at the root of life and that to make human sexuality and erotic union a form or worship and meditation is to practice reverence for life, leading us directly through the pleasure of the sense to spiritual liberation.

Margot Anand
Love, Sex & Enlightenment


March 24, 2019

Find ecstasy within yourself. It is not out there. It is in your innermost flowering. The one you are looking for is you.

Osho Rajneesh
Everyday Osho: 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now

terrible, beautiful surrender

November 25, 2018

I want to feel your arms around me and your warm body against mine, while your words stroll casually round in my head lowering any chance of resistance. The pressure of your will on mine, exposing, finally, my complete surrender – a terrible, beautiful surrender which lasts all night, engulfing us both and leaving our bodies joined in ecstasy, totally united in an infinity of pleasure.


ecstasy and suffering

October 25, 2018

You arrive at my altar with no idea what it means to worship — to adore. You haven’t even learned it: ecstasy and suffering make the same face.

Gretchen Marquette
The Offering

breathy, soft whimpers

October 6, 2018

licking finger

His noises started out as low, guttural groans. A last-ditch attempt to retain some of the hard calluses of masculinity that had grown upon him.

But with each stroke, a little more of that roughness was erased. The noises he made began sounding less like groans and more like moans. More like breathy, soft whimpers, more like gentle gasps and desperate pleas. By the time he came, it was almost as if he were sobbing, crying out in wanton ecstasy.

It sounded like music.

ribbons and bows

Sadomasochism has always been the furthest reach of the sexual experience: when sex becomes most purely sexual, that is, severed from personhood, from relationships, from love. It should not be surprising that it has become attached to Nazi symbolism in recent years. Never before was the relation of masters and slaves so consciously aestheticized. Sade had to make up his theatre of punishment and delight from scratch, improvising the decor and costumes and blasphemous rites. Now there is a master scenario available to everyone. The colour is black, the material is leather, the seduction is beauty, the justification is honesty, the aim is ecstasy, the fantasy is death.

Susan Sontag
Fascinating Fascism The New York Review of Books, 6 February 1975