Inside my head

Diary 23rd June

My head is full of shadows and winding staircases. Endless passageways are lit by flickering candle flames. Interlinked they form a labyrinth of elaborate nightmares – nightmares that pursue the unwary intruder! Oh, and yes, there are skeletons in every cupboard here: the bodies of undesired strangers. And in each of the many rooms can be found a tormented, agonized victim of my sick psyche…


I constructed my first female companion from a Meccano set my father gave me for my eighth birthday. I fashioned her vagina by mixing part 131, the dredger bucket, with five of part 142a, the rubber tires. I started fucking her from that first night. She was most immodest in bed, so that I named her Insatiable Alice. And we remained lovers until I was sent away to boarding school two years later. I didn’t see my Alice again until I was sixteen years old, and she was partly dismantled and rusting at the back of the garden shed. I cried for her; real tears. I was truly heartbroken. But then I wondered what I could build with all those Lego pieces in that ancient cake tin?

Lego and latex together – and you have Insatiable Alice Mk II.

Oh, Lord, what a tease!

Believe me when I tell you I often had to beg her to let me cum! Spread like a pinned butterfly on my bed beneath her, her red-brick and latex mouth teasing me. My hands palm deep in her yellow-brick hair…

I used to love most the way her breathing changed when I caressed her thighs at night.


And so I’m going away, away, away – for one month. I need rest and sun and fresh air. I need to hear midnight conversations in Italiano, make love on moonlit beaches and eat great dishes of spaghetti and roasted vegetables.

Tomorrow I leave!

Scendo a prendere le valigie!


Conversation yesterday: Yes, yes there should be ‘licensed’ prostitutes who can satisfy the desire of certain people for flagellation. And while I may think the practice personally repellent, my own sado-masochistic requirements are easily satisfied by listening to Zerlina sing ‘Bati, batti’…

Indeed. Wolfgang Amadeus does it for me every time!


I agree with Maureen Duffy that our definition of a fairy cannot be restricted to saccharine and predominantly nineteenth century images of figures dressed in white tulle. No, they must be recognised as malignant and malevolent beings who’ve escaped from the human subconscious into the material world…


Isn’t it strange. Anglo Saxon attitudes dictate that lovemaking should be hidden away, carried out in darkness, a secret in part unpleasant and certainly not a fit subject for discussion in polite company. And yet we practice acts of violence in broad daylight, in sight of all! Some of these acts are government sponsored, others are replicated on our television and cinema screens and called ENTERTAINMENT!

Riane Eisler points out the average US child will watch over 20,000 screen murders and witness 200,000 acts of violence before they are eligible to vote!

Makes you think, doesn’t it?