Relishing The Cucumber

December 22, 2019

I heard about this chick
who would go to the grocery store
and find the largest cucumber she could find.
Have you seen cucumbers lately?
she’d take it home, rub Vaseline all over it
and then strip down
get on all fours
and back her ass up on that cucumber until it was
near broken;
consumed by hungry vagina.
Then she’d have a salad,
garnished with cucumber.
I figure there’s a fine line between
relishing the cucumber… and relishing it.
I figure there’s a fine line between brilliant
and being moved.
About the same level of consumption,
I guess.

Sarah Frances Moran

I wrote “Relishing the Cucumber” in response to “Fucking The Gap” by T.L. Burns. You’ll see the similarity in style and similarity in word choice. I did that purposefully. The poem was called “brilliant” by Rattle and it just baffled me. I wondered had Relishing The Cucumber come first would it have been deemed “brilliant.” My suspicion is no. As cis women we aren’t allowed the “healthy” relationship with our vaginas that cis men have with their penises and where they like to stick them. I’m no prude and I fully admire work that delves deep into the strange fetishes of human nature. It’s the double standard that kills me.

Sarah Frances Moran


December 22, 2019

I heard about this bloke,
Who used to put his dick in a
Sandwich bag,
And squirt a load of Vaseline
He’d then mush it all around
His dick,
Before proceeding to get down
On his knees,
After which
He’d lift up the mattress, stick
His dick-bag in,
And then fuck the gap between
It and the bed.
I’m not sure if he was crazy or
A genius,
The gap between the two is slim.
About the same width of the gap
He fucked,
I guess.

T.L. Burns

struggle to get a peek

September 23, 2018

Fingering for fun

I wondered what it felt like for her to be sitting on the floor like a dog while I fucked her boyfriend. She could barely see over the mattress from way down there. She had to struggle to get a peek.

She was a mess, clothes half off, grinding against her own hand, hair dishevelled, we could hear how wet she was as she whined and rubbed her clit. It was clear how much she liked it from the slick-squish sounds her fingers made, how humiliating. We paid no attention, her boyfriend and I were too busy making each other moan to notice such a pathetic girl on the floor. I suppose I kept him too distracted.

She begged for permission to cum. We ignored her.

Her Dirty Little Heart

My first ejaculation was a terrible shock. Like a seizure. An unexpected and terrible ripping of reality. Electrical currents in blue and gold sending spastic spasms of pleasure up me vertebrae; skull crushed in a vise in those first few seconds. Those never to be forgotten throbbing, animal convulsions and my head filling with white noise…

Neurological eruption!

Reading just now…

January 22, 2016


Did I say reading or masturbating…?