must be vulnerable to me

August 12, 2017

Most men are very comfortable ‘giving’ me their bodies to play with and use. And yes, I like that. I love that. But it’s not enough. Not nearly enough. I want to crack open your emotions, your pride, your sense of self. I want to take that from you, too.

I will find your emotional insecurities and use them to highlight the power exchange between us, to show you that you can and – because you have to let go and fall in order to know what it’s like to feel me catch you.

And yes…You will love me for it.

Ms Kay
The Femdomdiary

Willing Victims….

January 16, 2015


She said to Dee, ‘Be careful what you ask for, my pretty. With me, what you say you want, is what you get. I don’t fuff about, don’t role play. I don’t bother with safe words, either – you’ll be gagged, and I won’t understand what you’re trying to say to me -’

Dee sat straight-backed, listening intently to what Calypso had to say. She was here to fulfill a fantasy she’d entertained almost since childhood.

‘I have years of experience,’ Calypso said, waving her hands in the air, like some conductor of classical music in the RAH. She looked beautiful just now: tall, with a wild mass of black hair and such intense gray eyes. ‘And I’ve developed my craft to a point where I can inflict devastating pleasure or pain, almost at the drop of a hat. I love, truly, truly love, administering correction in its many forms. And the services I provide are only those which I personally enjoy – and believe me when I say it gives me a great deal of satisfaction and enjoyment to discipline people, no matter the level of severity. I can give you a quick glimpse of hell…Or heaven, if you prefer.

‘While I enjoy my activities with naughty boys, I absolutely adore to discipline naughty girls. I certainly stretch their boundaries…And rest assured, I’ll certainly stretch you, my pretty.’

‘I understand,’ Dee said quietly. She looked very pale; pensive. Her session with Calypso was a special pre-Christmas treat (Christmas 2012) paid for by me: one and a half hours of domination by a woman who loved another woman, Bethany – who also served as Calypso’s personal, live-in slave. Just now Bethany in frilly black satin knickers and little else knelt in a corner of the lounge, tossed there like an afterthought.

‘So it’s always been your dream to meet a sensual, sadistic Goddess, has it?’ Calypso smiling cruelly. ‘Today the dream comes true, Dee. Today I’ll release the tensions inside of you…’ She glanced at me. ‘Will you be taking part?’ she asked. ‘I love ball busting and seeing men cry.’

Most definitely not, I told her. I’d be on my way. I asked Dee if she was sure she wanted to go through with this?

‘Oh, yes,’ she said, almost breathless…with lust? with fear? apprehension? I couldn’t be certain. ‘It’s a dream come true.’

‘Pleasure and pain are available in so many different forms,’ said Calypso. Her hands now playing with Dee’s hair. ‘So I like to start a session with some pleasure…Then see what follows, yes.’ She smiled at Dee, lightly brushed her forehead with her lips ‘Don’t worry, pretty. There will be tears. There always are. But first you will undress and then go down on me…’

Later, when I returned to collect a flushed, disheveled Dee, she kissed me passionately on the mouth. ‘Thank you,’ she said, her voice sounding the way it does when she’s just woken from a deep sleep. It was obvious she’d been crying. ‘It was everything I thought it’d be…And more.’

In the car driving home it was obvious Dee couldn’t get comfortable; she kept wriggling about.

‘Okay?’ I asked. ‘Did it hurt a lot?’

‘Unbelievable,’ Dee replied. ‘When I went down on her, Calypso tasted like every dark thought I’ve ever had. For the sin of her and what she did to me, I’d gladly risk my soul burning in hellfire. She’s surely worth that.’

‘What did she do to you?’

‘She made me obey her every command. Her hands hurt me, yeah, but they healed too; she inflicts pain and removes it. She wrapped me in a black cloak of my own submission. Once there I became free to breathe, relax, surrender everything to her. She cocooned me in her severity, her dominance, and I welcomed it. Actually felt safe with it.’

I glanced across at her in the passenger seat. She looked glassy-eyed, used-up. She said, ‘That woman didn’t just kiss, she took ownership of my mouth. And I didn’t care. She could have it; have all of me. Use me how she wanted. She and Bethany.

‘She had this huge, fat phallus. I’ve never seen anything like it before. Honest to God. She got that thing so deep inside of me, I didn’t know where she ended and I began…’

‘You took pleasure from it all, despite the pain?’

‘Yeah. Calypso and Bethany both made me cum. Forced me to cum. Many times. I don’t know how many times. Then Calypso used a riding crop on my upper thighs…And between my legs. Christ that hurt. Hurt worse than anything I can ever remember. She was merciless. Vicious. But afterwards she kissed away my tears. But God I’m so swollen, down there…’

When we got back Dee undressed to show me her hurts. The pink-purple stripes on her backside were one thing, but her upper legs in front were like a tequila-sunrise of raw-looking flesh and puce-bruising. Her genitalia looked puffy, inflamed; the clitoris impossibly swollen.

‘I’m going to be out of action for a couple of days,’ she said.

‘Or weeks,’ I responded. It was hard for me to grasp the fact that Dee’s carnality had led her to demand this sort of punishment from Calypso. It made me think of Dawn, all those years ago.

Dawn, I’d been told at the time, was heavily into the BDSM scene. Her first husband had taken her to certain special parties handcuffed in the boot of his car. He would allow and encourage other men and women to use her; to discipline her. In time their marriage disintegrated, for reasons still unknown to me.

I only half-believed the stories of Dawn’s masochism. I thought, in the main, they were wishful thinking on the part of the men who knew her.

Then one night we were at a party together, and ended up walking hand-in-hand on a beach at midnight. Kisses were exchanged. caresses. We talked intimately about hopes, desires. And then returned to the hotel where I had a room.

To cut a long story short we made love. We made love for bloody hours, in fact. I desperately wanted to pleasure Dawn that night. I thrust rapidly at her, ground my body against her, but no matter what I tried, she did not cum. Yes, she seemed to enjoy what was happening…but in a disinterested, detached sort of way. I sensed her apartness. It was disconcerting. Until, that is, she bit my mouth, my lips. This angered me and I took a bite back. Immediately her legs became steel about me, her face a twisted mask. She buried her teeth in my left breast and it hurt like bloody hell. I responded by twisting her left breast violently first one way then the other. Harder and harder I gripped it. Harder and harder her legs gripped me. Then the steel abruptly melted. Her body spasmed, back arching…

Her legs scissoring frenziedly, as she finally came, wetting the bed with the intensity of her orgasm, which seemed to go on and on forever.

‘I can’t get off,’ she later explained, ‘without some pain. The more the better. What you did to my breast…Well, it felt like you were tearing it off…’

We were unfortunately incompatible as a couple. I hate inflicting pain on anyone. I don’t find it erotic. In fact it’s a turn-off for me. Had it not been for the fact I was a little intoxicated, and feckin’ angry at Dawn’s vampire bites, I would never have done what I did.

When I first met Dee and we re-enacted her rape fantasies together, it was something of a novelty. No one got hurt. A play fight. Then tied down on a bed, immobilized, she’d be well used by me…Until the summit of pleasure was achieved.

But with time her need for a certain sort of violence began to grow. It was a need I couldn’t fulfill – try however I might. Dee’s bi-sexuality and her on-going desire for a strong woman to control and use her, ticked all her boxes. Hence, finally, Calypso.