We watched the election broadcast the other evening. Everyone so feckin’ similar. The politicians, I mean. Simple ciphers of a particular class? Miliband, Farage (Cameron and Clegg, too, though they didn’t take part in the, er, “debate”). Ninety minutes of the same old, same as.

Shite, by whatever name you call it, is still shite.

The media, post broadcast, describes “Miliband and Sturgeon clash”…On screen it was no more severe than a pair of crossdressers falling out over the same handbag. The whole shower are as charismatic as a bucket of two-day-dead jelly fish.

Still, the English voters will be reassured to know that Sturgeon is on her way to say them all! God bless the Scots Nats.

Spent most of yesterday outside. Cooler, more overcast. Throughout the afternoon, heard one of the buzzards, or perhaps a pair, calling. Such a plaintive sound. Peeea-ay. It carries miles on the faint breeze. They mate for life, do buzzards. More faithful than most human beings. With the onset of spring, the males perform the “Rollercoaster” to attract females to them: diving, plummeting towards the ground in a spiral like kamikaze pilots intent on selfdestruction, but then immediately pulling up, climbing and repeating this spectacular aerial display over and over until the female capitulates. What risks these males take to find feathered companionship!!

We have people staying with us for the weekend. Saturday, today, commences one of my famous (infamous?) breakfast party’s. From ten o’clock people will show up, friends mainly, old and new, for breakfast. This will go on for most of the day. Huge array of food available, including wide vegetarian selection of goodies. But there will also be flesh enough to satisfy the carnivores.

During 2013 the UK, a country of “Animal Lovers” slaughtered over a Eight billion animals to feed themselves. This included 9.8 million pigs, nearly 15 million sheep, 18 million turkeys, 14 million ducks, over 945 million chickens and 2.6 million cattle. Add to that 4.5 billion fish and 2.6 billion shellfish you have a total of over 8 billion animals killed in the UK each year.

Nice, eh.

This equates to around 22 million animals slaughtered every day; 919,000 an hour; 15,000 per minute and 255 every second. Good job we’re a nation of animal lovers, and not haters, eh, what?

Funny thing, is as she stumbled through the leaders debate on TV the other night, Green Party leader Natalie Bennett made no mention of any of this. That’s how GREEN they really are, I guess. More windmills to save the environment, while fifteen billion cattle fart and crap unrestrainedly filling the air with wonderful life enhancing methane.

I’ve mentioned before, I believe, my watching TV programmes like NCIS, CSI, and other alphabet-spaghetti “dramas” (how that word is abused and misused), with the volume on mute. This, boys & girls, is the only way to watch! It allows me to construct my own “plot” and dialogue to cover the on screen action. For example, last night on NCIS, the Goth girl who appears to live in a laboratory and is obviously NOT a scientist but a practising Goth Witch, conjures information from the music of the spheres, while remaining addicted to some liquid concoction (most obviously an hallucinogen of some description) provided to her in innocuous cardboard cartons. She is enslaved it’d seem by the NCIS team who keep her drugged and amenable to their constant demands on her occult powers…

You get the idea?

Any future Leaders debates I will also watch with the volume muted. I already know what’s going to be said…