April 22, 2017
‘Eres hombre o mujer…’
Ah, Barcelona and that sixty-four million dollar question. Man or woman. Which was I?
Peedeel had become Navina that evening – for the sake of the party, you understand? Attendance was by invitation only. And our invitation was dependant on Peedeel arriving as beautiful Navina. He, or rather she, accompanied by Dee and Gabriella, attracted the attention of two young men. Darkly handsome young men.
‘Eres hombre o mujer…?’ They asked; their smiles could melt ice, I thought.
Well, if you haven’t spent your life living under a rock, you’ll know there are obvious ways to tell. And these boys guided me to a room where they could investigate further.
I will resist the urge to recount the sordid details of our ultimate coupling. But I do recall thirty seconds before I climaxed with them, it felt as if someone had sucked all the air out of the room; every nerve ending in my body tingled, I couldn’t move, time stopped. Then the involuntary spasm, the explosion. I recall especially feeling the sensation inside my bones, my jawbone in particular, vibrating through every nerve in waves; muscles clenching on their own, rhythmically, tension releasing spasmodically in those sharp, familiar little jerks of my cock.
Man or woman?
Why, chameleon, of course.
Soy un camaleón.
January 15, 2017
Diary 15th January
Returned yesterday from a small soirée at Goodrington Sands. It is a dog owners paradise, and most of the population seemed to be engaged in walking their dogs along the beach or promenade.
We arrived there Friday lunchtime and had a boozy lunch followed by a long walk along the beach. The wind was bitterly cold.
S, almost in tears, fears her cat may die soon; it has been very ill, and she has spent a small fortune on vets bills – but, despite every test known to man, the vets are unable to determine exactly what is wrong with the animal. They are perplexed.
S is also concerned her father will not see out this year. Hopefully she is wrong on both counts!
More booze follows.
Twilight then night, with its brood of phantoms that walk the world as sentient things. Muttered “Hullo’s”. Glimpses of the strange, profound and baffling. Circling faces and disembodied voices.
A woman, mid-fifties(?), fleshy and flashy, tells me she has a complete school uniform at home: gym-slip, white socks and big sensible navy-blue knickers. ‘You should come see me in it,’ she says. ‘A weekday’s best for me. I even have a satchel containing crayons and drawing pad.’ She passes me a slip of paper on which is written a phone number and address. ‘I play an adorable little virgin, so innocent – you can corrupt and debauch me in whatever way you desire!’
Time passing. Grotesqueries of light and shadow. The people here are all affluent, bored, over-sexed – almost parodies of themselves. Women with strange secrets in their drowsy eyes. Men, faces flushed with lust, join in the never ending dance.
A woman’s face above me: shadowy eyes, a bright red mouth, and nostrils like dark wells. There are wrinkles at the edges of her mouth and her tongue seems huge inside my mouth. Her cheeks flush scarlet and her eyes glow like little lanterns when her climax engulfs her.
A man’s whispering, Mephistophelian voice at my ear. He offers his wife, a plump forty-something, who spreads her legs to my passionless gaze. He tells me in explicit, vivid detail what he would like to see me do to her.
I comply with each of his shocking instructions.
When she cums it is like a cataclysm.
And then, in another room, another much younger woman. Incredibly vivid. Incredibly flexible. Intense and demanding in each of her movements. The surging of blood to her face, lost in pure physical sensation, and the tingling of nerve endings. The quickening of her breath and spastic motion of hip and thigh…
Finally to bed like an impotent old giant.
Unfortunately, I sleep badly. Doze and wake disoriented in my strange surroundings. Dee snoring gently beside me.
As if to reinforce the surreal experiences of the preceding evening, I watch the breakfast news on BBC. A doctor in an A&E department explains to the camera that he has no beds available. No trolleys left, either. Ambulances are backed up on the A&E ramp outside. The patients cannot be removed from the ambulances, there is nowhere to put them. Consequently, the ambulances are unable to respond to any further calls for assistance.
It’s a mess!
Then, amazingly, the Queen of Brobdingnag, Terresa Maybe appears on screen in a different report. The problems, she explains, the NHS is currently experiencing is due in part to GPs not working evenings or weekends!
Luggnagg meets Brobdingnag.
I think I shall relocate to the land of the Houyhnhnms. It’s feckin’ safer.
After breakfast we say our goodbyes to S and her man. Drive then into Brixham. Dee wants to see the place again, a nostalgia trip. She’d last visited in her teens with AN, a girls only camping holiday…very Sapphic, I’m sure (only kidding girls).
Dee tells of the transvestite artist they met there beside the harbour. An older guy. Diabetic, with an ulcerated leg. He invited them both back to his ‘artist’s garret’ to show them his collection of clothes. He asked the girls to try them on, which they did. He sketched away like mad as they shamelessly stripped and dressed in his offered finery. An intimate, almost immemorially pagan scene.
Then he asked AN if he could try on the top she’d been wearing. She agreed, but the top was far too small and his attempts ended in seem-stretching failure.
He explained his leg was ‘killing’ him and had to sit down. AN, very kindly, changed the dressing on his leg for him…
Dee and I sat outside a café in bright sunshine. The weather was totally different from yesterday’s. We’d left Cornwall in snow flurries. And now, sitting looking out across the harbour, I could feel the sun burning my face!
Dee said, ‘What a glorious sunshiny day! We’ve been so lucky.’
Finally, we drove home. I felt very second-hand to be honest. Slightly hungover and jaded. Cooking a meal last night for Dee and L, I was really running on empty. I managed a glass of wine, for myself, followed by a large brandy, but no food. I went to bed at eight-thirty and fell immediately fast asleep.
Uneasy dreams followed. They always do. Gigantic shadows of men and women entwining. Faces glowing scarlet-red with excitement. Ephemeral rooms, scattered with cushions. Laughter, gently mocking. Becoming harsher –
Then waking, thankfully, to this sombre dawn.
A new day begins –
October 2, 2016
Celestine has seized on my prick; she cannot get it into her cunt, so, determined not to lose it altogether, she takes it in her mouth, she sucks its glowing heap, she rolls her tongue over the top of it. I am mad-delirious. No longer to be restrained I throw fiery rod into her furnace, which consumes it. A few maddening thrusts, drove home with such force that I touch her to the very quick – a cry of thrilling pleasure escapes us at the same time, and all is over.
But so intense were our passions that we hardly perceived it till I felt her again moving up to me. How delicious! What voluptuous warmth pervaded her whole body. How exquisitely did the springing cheeks of her backside respond to all my motions. The little devil Celestine is playing with two large balls that keep knocking against the buttocks of my antagonist.
It is too much; I drive it home, and lie gasping and quivering on Caroline’s breast, who cries out, “Oh heavens! further in! I come – I spend! Oh – oh, God, I die! Oh, dear, what plea-pleas-pleas-ure!”
She had fainted. The delicious wrigglings of her backside, the contraction of her cunt, sucked the last drop from me.
La Rose D’Amour
The Pearl, Volume eleven
September 25, 2016
Now then, Mrs. Daldry, I would ask you to remove your clothing but you may keep your underthings on. Please remove your corset, if you would. Annie will place a sheet over your lower regions. We will respect your modesty in every particular.
Mrs. Daldry nods.
I shall give you privacy.
He turns his back on them, a gentleman, as Mrs. Daldry undresses with Annie’s help.
Mrs. Givings has re-entered the living room without the baby.
She sees Mr. Daldry.
Hello. They are trying to get rid of me. I am supposed to walk about the grounds.
But is it not raining, Mr—?
I don’t know.
No. If it is raining.
Then you will have to gamble on whether or not to take an umbrella.
Meanwhile, in the operating theatre, Mrs. Daldry disrobes with Annie’s help.
It takes a while to disrobe as she wears a variety of layers.
In the living room, with Mr. Daldry and Mrs. Givings:
There are three kinds of people. Those who use umbrellas when it is not raining; those who do not use umbrellas even when it is raining; and those who use umbrellas only and precisely while it rains. Which kind are you, Mr. Daldry?
I use an umbrella while it is raining.
That’s too bad. I find people who do not use umbrellas while it is raining horribly romantic. Strolling, no striding, through the rain, with wet hair, looking at a drop of water on a branch.
My wife is one of those.
Oh yes! I could see that.
It’s damned annoying. I always worry she’ll catch cold.
But horribly romantic. My husband opens his umbrella at the merest hint of rain. And even if it does not rain, he will leave it open, stubborn as an ox, and keep walking. My husband is a scientist.
And what sort of person are you, Mrs. Givings?
Why, I don’t know. My husband has always held the umbrella. Isn’t that funny. I don’t know at all what kind of person I am.
In the other room, Mrs. Daldry’s clothes are now off to her under-clothes.
Annie drapes a sheet over her.
I‘ll show you the grounds and we can use this very large umbrella and perhaps I will hold it and we shall see what kind of person I am. I only hope you do not get wet.
It sounds like a madcap adventure.
Mrs. Givings and Mr. Daldry exit.
In the operating theatre:
Are you ready for me?
Yes, Dr. Givings.
Are you warm enough? (Mrs. Daldry nods.)
Mrs. Daldry, we are going to produce in you what is called a paroxysm. The congestion in your womb is causing your hysterical symptoms and if we can release some of that congestion and invite the juices downward your health will be restored. hanks to the dawn of electricity—yes, thank you Mr. Edison, I always tip my hat to Mr. Edison—a great American—I have a new instrument which I will use. It used to be that it would take me or it would take Annie—oh—hours—to produce a paroxysm in our patients and it demanded quite a lot of skill and patience. It was much like a child’s game—trying to pat the head and rub the stomach at the same time—but thanks to this new electrical instrument we shall be done in a matter of minutes.
I—I’m afraid I don’t—
Three minutes, sometimes five at the outer limits. Are you ready Mrs. Daldry?
He takes out a huge vibrator.
He plugs it in.
He turns it on.
I am frightened.
Don’t be frightened.
There is no danger of being electrocuted?
None at all.
He puts his arm under the sheets and
holds the vibrator to her private parts.
I will tell you an amusing story. Dr. Benjamin Franklin once decided to electrocute a bird for his turkey dinner on Christmas eve. But, by mistake, he held onto the chain, completing the circuit, and couldn’t let go. He described violently convulsing until he was able by sheer force of will to let go of the chain. He was perfectly fine! Do you feel calmer?
This will just take a matter of minutes.
Mrs. Daldry moans quietly.
It’s all right, Mrs. Daldry. That’s just fine.
Mrs. Daldry moans quietly.
Annie will hold your hand.
Annie holds her hand.
Oh, God in His heaven!
She has a quiet paroxysm.
Now remember that these are the days
before digital pornography.
There is no cliché of how women are supposed to orgasm,
no idea in their heads of how they are supposed to sound when they climax.
Mrs. Daldry’s first orgasms could be very quiet,
organic, awkward, primal. Or very clinical. Or embarrassingly natural.
But whatever it is, it should not be a cliché, a camp version
of how we expect all women sound when they orgasm.
It is simply clear that she has had some kind of release.
In the Next Room, or the vibrator play
June 11, 2016
First time I tried, the guy like just put a finger up and the shock made me cry it huuuurt. Then with lots of lube there was some success in getting in, but yeah it hurt so so so much.
Eventually I was seeing this guy for a bit and I dunno we sexually just clicked and he was kinda fiddling around there and I just got the urge, he understood and no pain, not even lube, and it was amazing. Like I dunno I guess I was relaxed but it felt good in a whole other way. Like maybe the taboo was what made it sexy and dirty….But ahhh I have always loved doggy.
Its not meant to be enjoyable for chicks coz we don’t have a prostate but fuck that shit try everything once hey.
I’ve never had an orgasm (by myself or with anyone) so this wasn’t an exception. Can girls come from anal alone? It seems unlikely…
Cindy Grey’s Book of True Sex Confessions
June 11, 2016
The first time I had sex with a girl, we did it in a closet. (No, seriously). She had a huge walk-in closet with a bed in it, and she would sit on that bed, light candles, and draw and write on the walls. It was like being inside her soul. She painted and drew and the things she put on those walls were beautiful and honest and every reason I loved her.
I was “straight,” by the way. The alternative wasn’t feasible. I was just a young, wild girl, fooling around, and it wasn’t serious. But it was. Because I loved her. And I knew I loved her, and at 6 a.m. after I had the most sexually-induced emotionally enlightening experience of my life I fell asleep next to her panic-stricken, and doing that exact thing has not ceased, even to this day.
So that night, under the guise that we were just friends from school, we went up to her room and shut and locked the door. She lit candles and she had this playlist on, some songs of which I still don’t know if I either want to touch myself to or cry to or never listen to again. But I digress. We sat next to each other, and giggled. “Are we really going to do this?” I laughed. She laughed. I told her I had never done this before. Half of me was calmed by the fact that I had some inkling of how to touch her, because it was how I’d want to be touched. But it was more foreign to me than a man’s body. More foreign to me even though I’d had that physiology all my life. Because none of that matters when you want to love someone for more than just their body.
So we listed how we were going to do this. We would kiss first, and then we outlined the next steps and how we would do them one at a time and then we would stop and talk about it and make sure we still wanted to do it or go to the next step and if at any point one of us wanted to stop, that was it, we would stop. We didn’t stop.
I’d had “boyfriends” before – pubescent men I could seduce into loving me with my femme looks and overtly sexual nature. That was easy. Girls weren’t. Girls were what I really wanted. And when something ever matters to me, I am usually perplexed and terrified and cowardly and confused. These boys never made me orgasm, I made myself orgasm, they just happened to be there while it happened. They never made me cry for any other reason than that I felt unwanted. They touched me to warm me up to touch them, not because they wanted me to be that completely vulnerable and literally and metaphorically naked. Please note: this is not to say that all men are like this, of course, that was just my experience at the time.
So roughly four hours into the first night of the long awaited physical enactment of our already raging love affair, she was between me and I didn’t have any clothes on and I knew what was about to happen because we had talked about this and I can’t even phrase into words how badly I wanted it but I’ll tell you that it was just about as much as I wanted to run away screaming because I was not gay.
She could sense that. She asked me what was wrong. I told her the truth. She smiled. I don’t remember what she told me, but it was something along the lines of the fact that I didn’t have to be worried, and that we could go slowly and that I just had to lay back and close my eyes and not think about anything but how good it felt.
The most poignant memory I have from that night was looking down at her, and feeling like I wasn’t worthy of such a perfect person loving me like this, and even though I kept on with my nonsensical thoughts she made me come in that back-arching, oh-my-god-please-don’t-stop, repeated exhales and sighs, waves of that familiar high that keep crashing through your body and afterwards you don’t think, that was great, you think, I love her kind of way. That kind of orgasm. And I thought that was as good as it got, until I made her do the same thing, and that was even better.
We laid next to each other for a while after that, limbs intertwined, the playlist still on repeat, the candles burning out. The sun was rising. My real life was dawning again. She was falling asleep, but my eyes were peeled open and staring at the ceiling.
I haven’t grown out of that yet. But I’m not entirely unhappy that it happens. It tells me it means something. It shows me what matters. It scares the mother fucking shit out of me but it’s never there while I’m staring in some woman’s eyes like she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And so I know it’s not what I’m doing that’s wrong, it’s what the world would say about it that is. I’m never afraid of it until I realize it’s another notch in the “reasons the world will exile me” belt. And so I think to myself, it will be okay because eventually there will be a woman that I wake up next to who doesn’t make me feel that way because I know she’ll be there after breakfast, and that even if everybody else looks with disdain, she won’t. She’ll be there if other people walk out.
May 3, 2016
Diary 3rd May
And I will give to my dark mate
Cold kisses, frigid as the moon,
And I’ll caress you like a snake
That slides and writhes around a tomb.
Charles Baudelaire, excerpt from ‘The Ghost.’
In the collection ‘Les Fleurs du Mal’.
I’m here but my head’s filled with atrocities that play over like a continuous loop of film…E in that tight leather dress yesterday, the hem just below the swell of her plump bottom – and the soft curve of her inner thighs as she pressed my face to her crotch, smothering me with love…I drank her in, hating myself, hating and fearing, while the others watched in lewd silence my purple and blue agonies.
Consider time: my body’s become this gallery of scars, a canvass of experiences. All these leftover traces of past lovers, each fresh lover leaving their mark, and these woundings building over time to form the residue which is my identity. Ultimately you are what you’ve loved.
Complete immersion in self: think only of self; the texture of the world is self – painful, inadequate and changeless. Reality becomes an agony that threatens to split one apart. Reality is red-hot, and tastes of wet minge.
My body, my soul opening…
E’s legs begin quivering uncontrollably, and her hands become tight fists in my hair. Someone gives a little cheer of delight…
‘Oh, Christ..Christ…’ this hissed abruptly from between tightly clenched teeth: the faintest expiration of breath; a prayer of pain, pleasure or a supplication? I can’t be certain.
I need air and step out on the patio. Breathe. Breathe deeply. Naked and cold in the fine drizzle. Cock is this wounded, flaccid piece of uselessness against one thigh. Drink champagne like beer from the neck of a bottle, frothing it over my chin…R on the patio, too, in a cloud of acrid cigar smoke.
‘Tell me,’ he says. ‘Who is that tall blonde lady in a black dress. Very leggy.’
‘Oh, d’you mean M? That’s M in highheels and fishnets. She’s with HD.’
‘Is she now…’
Inside, music playing…Sarah Vaughan…Bluesy-sounding…‘The more I see you’. SE dancing on the farside of the lounge. Laughter and myriad conversations going on. Big Ron dancing, singing loudly, his voice booming:
‘I put my finger in a woodpecker’s hole,
And the woodpecker said, “God bless my soul,
Take it out. take it out, take it out,
REMOVE IT…” ’
To newcomers Ron can be quite intimidating. His size and raucousness, especial when, as now, he’s more than a little drunk. But in fact he’s a big puppy…
I see AC, half-undressed, dancing with T, his mistress; his wife, J, is reclining naked on cushions at the side of the room with a bloke considerably younger than herself. Some of the women wear lacy ethereal underthings; others are naked. Burnt sienna breasts. Soft thighs. The hard hairy bodies of men, some very erect as they dance. Overfed, oversexed hedonists, one and all, conspicuous by their clannishness; a glib, overdrinking lot…and on the fringes of this crowd, a few virile lesbians, hardfaced, dominating and protecting their newly found bicurious girlfriends.
The tense, temporary nature of their mating habits would cause an alleycat to blush in shame. But we have only the one life. It isn’t a feckin’ rehearsal. So live for the moment, would seem to be the philosphy…
Outside again, twilight. A heavy, liquescent sky. Clothed, now, and standing on the patio. Drunk as a skunk, of course. From the house, wild notes of hysteria, perversion and the shrill laughter of women with inflamed ovaries. Thank God we have no nearby neighbours to complain…
Morning. This place looks like a bomb hit it! Dr Terror’s house of horrors. Upstairs some lesbians remain, a last forlorn hope… Simone de Beauvoir announced lesbianism was an attitude: “you are, therefore, all lesbians”. Crophaired lesbians. Lesbians wearing ties or monocles. Everything, but lesbians pushing this bloody vacuum cleaner around…
In degenerate solitude
And all that space we share
With a strange view
Now I must prepare a shoping list for the supermarket shop later this morning.
While cleanliness is not the most glamorous of topics, it’s an important one that all pegging princesses and their partners will do well to understand ahead of time. No one wants an embarrassing situation, and, as I’ve said before, pegging is not for the faint of heart…but there are obvious advantages to cleaning up before you begin.
Preparing in Advance
Let’s face it men…if you’re asking me to fuck you in the ass, you should be willing to clean it first. Fair’s fair. These tips also apply to solo anal play if you want to keep things tidy.
Some good news! A full enema is not necessary before anal play or pegging, in fact, a full enema in which water is injected into the lower bowel by way of your rectum can unnecessarily irritate your system and cause prolonged discomfort.
So no full enema, what then?
In my experience, the best and fastest way to cleanup ahead of time is by using an anal bulb syringe, which you can find at any drugstore or chemist and several online retailers including Amazon. The bulb syringe serves to clean the rectum but skips the lower bowel. In most common pegging or anal experiences the rectum is the only part of your system your pegging princess’ girl cock will reach, and therefore, cleaning the chute alone will suffice. From my experience, you can clean yourself in minutes ahead of your experience with little effort, fanfare, or trouble.
Don’t forget to wash your hands before and after and to take care – your bum is sensitive! Feel free to wear gloves if you feel uncertain about the “situation” with your ass. Washing your ass in a nice hot shower is appreciated, however, some of you might be sensitive to harsher soaps, so try to keep it mild and free of scents. Please do not spray Axe body spray on your ass before your pegging experience, some of us like to eat ass and don’t want a mouth full of harsh chemicals.
A word about manscaping.
I can only speak for myself but I don’t care if your asshole is shaved or not. I will lick, fuck, and love your asshole as long as it’s clean. Some pegging princesses feel differently, so be kind and enquire ahead of time for optimum pegging pleasure. I will say that shaving your nether regions, in general, has been discouraged by some medical and sex professionals as shaving can cause cuts and irritation or infection can occur. Use your discretion.
Fantasy versus reality.
Pegging fantasy and reality are different, so don’t take things so seriously. Also, what we talk about in fantasy is not always safe or a good idea. When I write erotica I rarely talk about proper lubrication, but it’s necessary. Ass to mouth sounds amazing, but is it really safe? Probably not. Rimming…safe? Again, probably not. Doesn’t mean I don’t do it and love it, but just understand the risks and precautions to take.
Cleanliness During the Pegging Experience.
Everyone has to be comfortable with the possibility of a little mess at times. It doesn’t bother me in the least, and as I’ve said in previous posts, I keep a wet cloth with me at all times during the pegging experience to keep things tidy.
1) Always use safe, non-toxic toys, of those available my favourite is 100% silicone because it can be boiled for sanitation.
2) Always use condoms on the dildo.
3) I do not share toys from one partner to another…every partner has their own.
4) I prefer to always have toy cleaner with me in my pegging bag of holding, which I use along with soap and water immediately after pegging. I like Swiss Navy® Toy and Body Cleaner. I also use the spray cleaner to do a quick spray wash down of my harness, which I clean thoroughly later.
5) Depending on your experience and your body, it’s never a bad idea to lay a towel or extra sheet down if you are in doubt of a potential mess. This provides easier bed to clothes washer clean up.
A special word to pegging princesses.
I take great care and pride in providing the best pegging experience to my partner. For me, part of that responsibility is staying clean, safe, and minimizing any potential embarrassment for my partner. This routine is simple but meaningful to me, you will no doubt find your own:
1) as a general rule I strip the dildo of its condom and dispose of it before he ever sees it because if there is to be a small mess, it would be on the tip of the condom;
2) I wipe the dildo off with the wet rag; and
3) I hit the bathroom with my pegging bag of holding ASAP and make my personal cleanup quick so he, in turn, can cleanup.
My orgasm comes after we’ve both cleaned up in most cases. As I’ve said before, I have no problem delaying my own orgasm for my partner’s when I’m pegging. Every woman is different and will want different things, but I personally like to orgasm after my partner has finished and is reduced to puddles. My favourite way to orgasm after pegging is to pull out, clean up a bit, give him a minute to compose himself, and then lay next to him and masturbate while he sucks my nipples or just plays with them softly with his hands. Usually he is so exhausted he can’t really do much, and that’s okay with me. For whatever reason, I find it a huge turn on to make him cum hard and then take my pleasure and orgasm into my own hands right next to him.
Milking and gloves.
As for me, I wash my hands before, after, and as frequently as I deem necessary. I also sometimes use a glove when fingering an ass, but some men consider that sort of clinical and feel it ruins the mood. I have no preference or care, though when milking, I do like to use a glove, but that’s maybe the kink in me that finds milking a turn on when it actually feels a little “clinical.”
Well, that’s all the time and space we have for today. It’s been fun sharing with you! As always, stay safe kinksters and have fun out there!
Disclaimer: I am neither a licensed physician nor counsellor and the following is a discussion solely based on my personal observations and experiences as a pegging princess (not to be misconstrued as authoritative advice). Everyone’s bodies, circumstances, experiences, and relationships are different. Further, prostate care is serious business. Ladies, treat with care and men, find a medical professional you trust and be honest when necessary about what you stick in your ass.
January 6, 2016
I love you. You are my soul mate. You make me happy. You’re a great husband and father, but you suck in bed. I’ve tried to show you what I like, but you don’t listen.
I’m cheating on you, with 4 different men, and the sex is great – I mean it is GREAT.
They could never replace you though, I just need better sex.
Please listen to what I need in the bedroom – I’m tired of all this running around – but damn it! I need this sex. I’ve faked almost every orgasm with you because you don’t seem to care about my bedroom needs and we’ve been married for almost 10 years.
If you ever stop to listen to what I want in the bedroom, I’ll stop cheating – I’d rather have GREAT sex with you.