Old and Young

January 20, 2019

These girls with old gents don’t do it despite the age — they’re drawn to the age, they do it for the age. Why? In Consuela’s case, because the vast difference in age gives her permission to submit, I think. My age and my status give her, rationally, the license to surrender, and surrendering in bed is a not unpleasant sensation. But simultaneously, to give yourself over intimately to a much, much older man provides this sort of younger woman with authority of a kind she cannot get in a sexual arrangement with a younger man. She gets both the pleasures of submission and the pleasures of mastery.

Philip Roth
The Dying Animal

femme hunger

January 19, 2019

For me, and many other femmes, the core of femme sexuality lies in femme hunger, in a particularly femme strength of sexual openness, vulnerability, and need. For me it can be summed up by the image of:

‘her fist
slams into my cunt up through my cervix
and grabs my heart
I don’t mind.’

When I have sex…I need to feel the touching burn through the layers of numbness I have wrapped around myself. I need intensity; I need to get filled up and fed. To open up, give it all up and be loved, not hated, for my intensity, for how much pleasure I can feel and how vulnerable it makes me. It is a vulnerability that can be both incredibly powerful and incredibly terrifying.

Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
On Being A Bisexual Femme

The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely translated as “Wand of Light.” In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality, the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored, as a “Wand of Light” that channels creative energy and pleasure.

Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is to massage the Lingam, also including testicles, perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally, allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage.

Men need to learn to relax and receive. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer, more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective.

Beginning the Massage

Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under his hips. His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, chest, nipples, etc., to get the receiver to relax. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation.

Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Begin gently massaging the testicles, taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Massage the scrotum gently, causing it to relax. Massage the area above the Lingam, on the pubic bone. Massage the perineum, the area between the testicles and anus. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Vary the speed and pressure. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand, pull up and slide off, then alternate with your left hand. Take your time doing this, right, left, right, left, etc. Then, change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then sliding down and off. Again, alternate with right and left hands.

Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Massage all around the head and shaft. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. Do not worry if it doesn’t get hard again. You will probably find that it will get hard, then go soft, get hard again, etc., which is a highly desirable Tantric experience, like riding a wave, bobbing up and down. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum.

If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate, back off, allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Do this several times, coming close to ejaculation, and then backing off. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate. The result is a very expanded sex life.

The Sacred Spot

Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. Be gentle and push inward. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. Eventually, as this area is worked on and softened, he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand.

Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. You, the giver, are creating a place of trust and intimacy.

Ending the Massage

When he feels complete (with the massage), gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Most importantly, allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes.

White Lotus East

mystical ecstasy and death

December 7, 2018

From pure sensation to the intuition of beauty, from pleasure and pain to love and the mystical ecstasy and death — all the things that are fundamental, all the things that, to the human spirit, are most profoundly significant, can only be experienced, not expressed. The rest is always and everywhere silence.

After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.

Aldous Huxley
The Rest Is Silence

pleasure is pain

December 2, 2018

On the altar of the devil up is down, pleasure is pain, darkness is light, slavery is freedom, and madness is sanity –

dildo

October 7, 2018

A dildo will never let you down. It’ll never leave you on the edge of that great precipice of pleasure, then roll over and go to sleep. It won’t snore. It’ll never tell you lies about who it was with last night. It’ll always be hard, just for you – a dedicated lover. And it’ll do its duty when required, for as long as required. Most importantly, it’ll never break your heart.

Chaos out of you

August 26, 2018

intense and pleasurable

August 12, 2018

Fucking you is fine. It’s intense and pleasurable. But I love the moments afterwards, you know? Breathing heavily and laying on each other. The smiles and little laughs while holding one another. I really like that too…

an author’s words

August 7, 2018

Reading was my escape and my comfort, my consolation, my stimulant of choice: reading for the pure pleasure of it, for the beautiful stillness that surrounds you when you hear an author’s words reverberating in your head.

Paul Auster
The Brooklyn Follies

pleasure

June 9, 2018

The search for pleasure is circular, repetitive, a temporal, The variety seeking of the spectator, the thrill hunter, the sexually promiscuous, always ends in the same place. It has an end. It comes to the end and has to start over. It is not a journey and return, but a closed cycle, a locked room, a cell.

Ursula Le Guin
The Dispossessed