a need to suffer

July 31, 2017

To enter that silence was like entering a sea. At once a happiness and a very precise state of abandonment to an evolving idea. A way of thinking or perhaps of not thinking – the two things are not so far apart. It’s not clear. It’s a love that loves even now, which invades everything, and which is immune from anything anyone may say about it, for reasons that might be called religious. For it resembles a need to suffer, an obscure need to suffer in order to recall an absence without an image, without a face, without a voice. It can’t be stated. It’s elusive, helpless. And yet it exists.

Marguerite Duras
tr. by Barbara Bray