I was like so bad

January 14, 2020

I was like so bad. Like
I was on the sofa with a bucket
Shit wankered man
I was like so wasted
I mean 87% shit. It was sick man
I spewed in the bath
That shit was like brown
And the towels were like everywhere and I shout
Guys! I got a surprise for you all in the bathroom!
Classic times man. And like
The sound track to that would’ve totally been Morrissey.

Becky Fawcett

mermaids do it all the time

September 10, 2019

It’s true, I took a shit in the sea. It was such a long walk back to the guest house, and my need was immediate. It’s not such a bad thing – after all, mermaids do it all the time. Three perfectly formed turds, slowly sinking from sight. Such a great relief for me, too. I dived beneath the waves like a goddess of water, wiping myself on kelp and seaweed, a beautiful sea creature. The depths of the sea are like a giant window without sky or stars. It is always so peaceful there.

Sheena Samain
Plaisir d’Ô
Trans Peedeel


August 5, 2018

Have you thought, Alice – have you ever thought? – how much shit we all make in our lives?

Doris Lessing
The Good Terrorist

Oh, no…

June 10, 2018

clean smell of fresh shit

January 6, 2016


People always talked about the good clean smell of fresh sweat. They had to make excuses for it. They never talked about the good clean smell of fresh shit. There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit – I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.

Charles Bukowski
Ham on Rye


His bowels, far greater alchemist than he had ever been, regularly performed the transmutation of corpses, those of beasts and of plants, into living matter, separating the useful from the dross without help from him. Ignis inferioris Naturae: those spirals of brown mud, precisely coiled and still steaming from the decocting process which they have undergone in their mold, this ammoniac and nitric fluid passed into a clay pot, were the visible and fetid proof of work completed in laboratories where we do not intervene. It seemed to Zeno that the disgust of fastidious persons at this refuse, and the obscene laughter of the ignorant, were due less to the fact that these objects offend our senses than to our horror in the presence of the mysterious and ineluctable routines of our bodies.”

Marguerite Yourcenar
L’œuvre au noir

shit ought to be loved

December 13, 2015


…there is, presumably, something in the very nature of shit that makes it so looooooved. And however much the theoreticians of popular culture try to explain why shit ought to be loved, the most attractive aspect of shit is nevertheless its availability. Shit is accessible to everyone, shit is what unites us, we can stumble across shit at every moment, step in it, slip on it, shit followed us wherever we go, shit waits patiently on our doorstep. So who wouldn’t love it! And love alone is the magic formula that can transform shit into gold.

Dubravka Ugrešić
Thank You for Not Reading


Spontaneously, without any theological training, I, a child, grasped the incompatibility of God and shit and thus came to question the basic thesis of Christian anthropology, namely that man was created in God’s image. Either/or: either man was created in God’s image – and has intestines! – or God lacks intestines and man is not like him.

The ancient Gnostics felt as I did at the age of five. In the second century, the Great Gnostic master Valentinus resolved the damnable dilemma by claiming that Jesus “ate and drank, but did not defecate.”

Shit is a more onerous theological problem than is evil. Since God gave man freedom, we can, if need be, accept the idea that He is not responsible for man’s crimes. The responsibility for shit, however, rests entirely with Him, the creator of man.”

Milan Kundera
The Unbearable Lightness of Being

I didn’t know that…!

August 28, 2015


I beg your pardon…?

June 10, 2015