like glistening eels

December 19, 2018

Sunday show:

Mutely we stare and stare at the frenzied show of two bodies entwining, like glistening eels on the thick Aubusson carpet. Then, so like a gull-cry echoing in a small sea shell, her climax arrives with his final, terrible thrusts.

Be careful what you ask for

November 3, 2018


The Congress of the Spitting Duck.

To perform this congress, the female must lay on her left side with her right leg up high in the air. The male will straddle the right leg. He must now place his left leg, bent at the knee, over the female’s shoulder. He will then take the female’s right leg across his left shoulder and penetrate her. Rhythm and depth of penetration will be controlled by the female but she might need assistance from the male if she doesn’t have strong thigh muscles. The man can help by placing his hands under her bottom and lifting. Now the male must shift his weight to the right or left hip (it helps if he can whistle the Colonel Bogey march while completing this complex procedure). The male partner’s leg on the non-weight bearing side of the body is now placed over the female partner’s midsection. He then rests the leg on his inner thigh while thrusting. At this point the female partner will try to speak, but will find herself only able to splutter and spit instead (hence the title of this particular congress: the female is a sitting duck and can only spit).

WARNING: For best results do not eat before congress. On no account improvise in this sex position.Do not drive a car or operate machinery while having sex. For use by sexually aware and fit individuals only.

When locked in this sexual congress for any length of time, delusions of invincibility may occur: loss of balance and dignity are frequently experienced: imagined gains in height and sexual prowess may occur, along with an inability to correctly judge sexual appeal of yourself or of others.