go to them

January 31, 2019

“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes”

A. A. Milne
Winnie the Pooh
[illustrated by E. H Shepard]

The Needing

January 6, 2019

i need you
i crave you
it’s the only way i survive
you are my weakness i desire your control

in this space
down on my knees
this is where i belong
this is home my home

only you know how to satisfy
this hunger inside of me
i’m you little blackbird
you love to make me scream

who would have thought
through all this pain
my truth would be exposed
you did…

you knew me better than i knew myself
you saw my confusion
in the way i came crawling back to you

the needing
the bleeding
i’m conditioned
to always want more

but you make me wait…

I am Indigo

Waiting

January 3, 2019

I wait every year for summer, and it is usually good, but it is never as good as that summer I am always waiting for.

Martha Gellhorn
Letter to Hortense Flexner and Wyncie King
[Selected Letters of Martha Gellhorn]

magic things

November 22, 2017

The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.

Time…

July 27, 2014

womanandskull

She sits up straight and taps her long red nails,
Impatient, tap-tap-tap, for me to go.
Not wiles nor wit nor flattery avails –
My dress is quaint, my jokes not apropos.
A biased friend had boasted of my charm,
And so she left her card embossed with gold.
She calls me “darling” but she means me harm.
Her face is young, her heart is eons old.

Immaculate and chilly is her palace;
The furnishings reflect a cultured taste.
She hears my compliments with gracious malice.
Some tea? I spill it in my nervous haste.
She smiles at me, a glassy, brittle smile,
A crack that spreads across a china plate.
Her wet white teeth are gleaming like the tile.
She yawns with meaning. “My, the hour grows late.”

Ejected guests: I hear their footsteps fade
And faintly echo, endless, through the halls.
She nudges me to join their dim parade,
Where mirth and music stop, where starlight palls.

She signals I must go – I give offence.
Time is a woman humourless and cold,
Fanatical and full of stiff pretense;
Her face is young, her heart is eons old.
She’ll rid herself of me, make no mistake.
I’m stubborn, though. I nibble at my cake.