the act of sex and sexual practices

Modern India is one of the oldest civilizations in the world. Excavations in the Indus Valley trace civilization there back for at least 5,000 years. India’s cultural history includes prehistoric mountain cave paintings in Ajanta, the exquisite beauty of the Taj Mahal in Agra, the rare sensitivity and warm emotions of the erotic Hindu temple sculptures of the 9th-century Chandella rulers, and the Kutab Minar in Delhi. The seeming contradictions of Indian attitudes towards sex can be best explained through the context of history. India played a significant role in the history of sex, from writing the first literature that treated sexual intercourse as a science, to in modern times being the origin of the philosophical focus of new-age groups’ attitudes on sex. It may be argued that India pioneered the use of sexual education through art and literature. As in all societies, there was a difference in sexual practices in India between common people and powerful rulers, with people in power often indulging in hedonistic lifestyles that were not representative of common moral attitudes. India is a multiethnic and multilingual society with wide variations in demographic situations and socioeconomic conditions. In a nation as religiously and ethnically diverse as India – the nation is commonly described as “a jumble of possibilities” – the people follow a wide variety of customs, and have varied beliefs that ultimately mold their lifestyles and sexuality. Sexuality means different things to different people. For some people, it could mean the act of sex and sexual practices, for others it could mean sexual orientation or identity and/or preference and yet for others it could mean desire and eroticism. Sexuality encompasses many ideas and has many facets. The definition of sexuality has been evolving along with our understanding of it. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships.

The first evidence of attitudes towards sex comes from the ancient texts of Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism, the first of which are perhaps the oldest surviving literature in the world. These most ancient texts, the Vedas, reveal moral perspectives on sexuality, marriage and fertility prayers. It seems that polygamy was allowed during ancient times. In practice, this seems to have only been practiced by rulers, with common people maintaining a monogamous marriage. It is common in many cultures for a ruling class to practice both polyandry and polygamy as a way of preserving dynastic succession. Nudity in art was considered acceptable in southern India, as shown by the paintings at Ajanta and the sculptures of the time. It is likely that as in most countries with tropical climates, Indians from some regions did not need to wear clothes, and other than for fashion, there was no practical need to cover the upper half of the body. This is supported by historical evidence, which shows that men in many parts of ancient India mostly dressed only the lower half of their bodies with clothes and upper part of the body was covered by gold and precious stones, jewellery, while women used to wear traditional sarees made of silk and expensive clothes as a symbol of their wealth. Vatsyayana’s classic work “Kamasutra” (Aphorisms of love) written somewhere between the 1st and 6th centuries includes the three pillars of the Hindu religion “Dharma,” “Artha” and “Kama” representing religious duty, worldly welfare and sensual aspects of life respectively. The main theme here appears to be the expression of Indian attitude toward sex as a central and natural component of Indian psyche and life. The Pacnchatantra states that shyness, friendship, melodious voice, intellect, brilliance of youth, enjoying the sensuality of women, equanimity within the species, absence of sorrow/misery, carnal pleasure, religion, scriptures, intelligence of Brihaspathi (the teacher of Gods/Devathas), hygiene, concern about good behaviour – all these occur only when the creatures’ stomach is full. This elegant Subhashitha from Vishnusharma’s Panchathanthra clearly indicates the necessity of appropriate and adequate food/nutrition, a requisite for having the right mindset and power for optimum sexual performance. During 10th century to 12th century, some of India’s most famous ancient works of art were produced, often freely depicting romantic themes and situations. Examples of this include the depiction of Apsaras, roughly equivalent to nymphs or sirens in European and Arabic mythology, on some ancient temples. The best and most famous example of this can be seen at the Khajuraho complex in central India built around 9th to 12th century. “The Perfumed Garden,” by Sheikh Nafzawi, is the best-known example of a classic Islamic sex manual. In this 16th century guide, what people of that time thought were the most satisfactory characteristics of lovers and love making, have been poetically and colourfully described.

Kaustav Chakraborty and Rajarshi Guha Thakurata – Indian concepts on sexuality

Desires…

If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.

C.S. Lewis
Mere Christianity

Sex Magic

… sex magic is a spiritual practice that uses sexual desire to manifest tangible effect in the physical world. One of the most powerful experiences that we have as human beings is orgasmic energy, and if we can pair it with intent, then we can direct the most powerful manifesting force available on earth.

Baba Dez Nichols and Kamala Devi
Sexual Healing: The Shaman Method of Sex Magic

… basic principles of sexual magic [are]: generating sexual energy as a fuel, or power, for making magic and realizing your personal goals. ….. by planting the seeds of your deepest desires in states of heightened orgasm you create the alchemy through which they become reality …

Margo Anand
The Art of Sexual Magic

Love

All you need is love. And the occasional three course meal, of course. Washed down, perhaps, with a reasonable Merlot. We humans love to fall in love, don’t we? But often it ends badly. Especially in poetry. Or a Hemingway story. Lovers are burned by this too sweet honey; by their bittersweet desires. By those black thunderstorms of sensation.

Sappho said:

I’m in love! I’m not in love!
I’m crazy! I’m not crazy!
[Poetae Melici Graeci (428), ed. D. Page]

Only she said it originally in Greek, of course.

Simone Weil spoke of hunger:

All our desires are contradictory, like the desire for food. I want the person I love to love me. If he is, however, totally devoted to me he does not exist any longer and I cease to love him. And as long as he is not totally devoted to me he does not love me enough. Hunger and repletion.
[The Simone Weil Reader, ed. G A Panichas]

Ah, the erotic ambivalence of love!

And yet we all need it; crave it. This Midas touch of love.

Your caresses
touches
in secret places.

Our ragged breathing.

Love protects
against time
against these shy silences
and the many empty, waiting hours.

P

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

Neil Gaiman
The Kindly Ones

Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”

Nicholas Sparks
A Walk to Remember

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                   i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e e cummings

voluptuous

I love the word voluptuous. A voluptuous woman is full-figured and curvy. We often observe voluptuous women in tight clothing that emphasizes the fine shape of their bodies. The word derives from a Latin root meaning delightful or pleasurable. The old French voluptueux, volumptueuse meaning of or pertaining to desires or appetites. A voluptuous lady is indeed a pleasure to the eye.

expanded my understanding of what was possible between human beings

Between the ages of 12 and 15, I spent at least four hours a day reading stories about sex between women. My time was divided between my father’s Letters to Penthouse collection, and Xena: Warrior Princess and Star Trek: Voyager fan fiction websites. It wasn’t just that these stories turned me on. It was that, whether they were about Ancient Greek warriors or varsity cheerleaders, these stories transported me from a small town where I was a scared, isolated lesbian to a fantasy world where women acted on their desires and were rewarded for it with love, community, and orgasms.

Once I got a girlfriend and started having sex of my very own, I found that I was no longer interested in those stories. I was not a skinny, perky-breasted woman who perpetually smelled like roses. The sex I had didn’t involve fireplaces, or perfectly timed, simultaneous climaxes. Sometimes it wasn’t even good. I no longer needed fantasy. What I needed was reality.

Thankfully, I found lesbian literature. Authors like Dorothy Allison, Jeanette Winterson, and Rebecca Brown wrote about women who had jobs and families and lives that resembled something I could aspire and relate to. That these women had sex with each other was just part of the picture, but it was an important part. One that shocked, excited and ultimately expanded my understanding of what was possible between human beings as well as the possibilities of my own desires.

Amy Gall
Let’s Talk About Sex: Allison, Myles, and Woolf

Salome

I scissor the stem of the red carnation
and set it in a bowl of water.
It floats the way your head would,
if I cut it off.
But what if I tore you apart
for those afternoons
when I was fifteen
and so like a bird of paradise
slaughtered for its feathers.
Even my name suggested wings,
wicker cages, flight.
Come, sit on my lap, you said.
I felt as if I had flown there;
I was weightless.
You were forty and married.
That she was my mother never mattered.
She was a door that opened onto me.
The three of us blended into a kind of somnolence
and musk, the musk of Sundays. Sweat and sweetness.
That dried plum and liquorice taste
always back of my tongue
and your tongue against my teeth,
then touching mine. How many times? —
I counted, but could never remember.
And when I thought we’d go on forever,
that nothing could stop us
as we fell endlessly from consciousness,
orders came: War in the north.
Your sword, the gold epaulets,
the uniform so brightly coloured,
so unlike war, I thought.
And your horse; how you rode out the gate.
No, how that horse danced beneath you
toward the sound of cannon fire.
I could hear it, so many leagues away.
I could see you fall, your face scarlet,
the horse dancing on without you.
And at the same moment,
Mother sighed and turned clumsily in the hammock,
the Madeira in the thin-stemmed glass
spilled into the grass,
and I felt myself hardening to a brandy-coloured wood,
my skin, a thousand strings drawn so taut
that when I walked to the house
I could hear music
tumbling like a waterfall of China silk
behind me.
I took your letter from my bodice.
Salome, I heard your voice,
little bird, fly. But I did not.
I untied the lilac ribbon at my breasts
and lay down on your bed.
After a while, I heard Mother’s footsteps,
watched her walk to the window.
I closed my eyes
and when I opened them
the shadow of a sword passed through my throat
and Mother, dressed like a grenadier,
bent and kissed me on the lips.

Ai (Florence Anthony)

take turns doing things

I love the idea of being blindfolded and letting random ladies take turns doing things between my spread legs. My husband has no idea I have desires like this.

Anon
True Confessions

desires and fears

Cities, like dreams, are made of desires and fears, even if the thread of their discourse is secret, their rules are absurd, their perspectives deceitful, and everything conceals something else.

Italo Calvino
Invisible Cities

an erotic place

I have always felt that the world is an erotic place. As I walk through it my senses are reaching out. And I am drawn to all sorts of things. For me cities are enormous bodies of people’s desires. And as I search for my own desires within them, I slice into time, seeing the moment. That’s the kind of camera work I like.

Daido Moriyama
Interview with Tate gallery